One of Many "Bearded Ladies"

Why is there a lightsaber in my bathroom? And other strange questions I never thought I'd ask until I had boys

2011-11-18T09:53:00.000-08:00

This morning I woke up like any other day and stumbled my way into the bathroom. I looked down and there was clothes on the floor from my husband showering and right in the middle of that was a lightsaber. First question that came to my mind was "Why is there a Lightsaber in my bathroom?" Like most people who are parents of little kids there is lots of questions that come out of my mouth and things I say on a daily basis that I never thought I'd say. . . Until I had little boys . . . Here is a list, I'm sure you can relate and laugh at the same time.

1. Why is there a lightsaber in my bathroom?
2. Don't sit on the cat, bite the cat, put a blanket over the cat, oh the cat scratched you? Well maybe next time you'll leave her alone like I warned you the last 100 times. Don't TOUCH the cat! (5 mins later they are bugging the cat again)
3. I don't speak wine, when you decide to talk normal then I'll talk to you.
4. Thank you for showing me your gigantic booger but no I don't want to keep it, please go get a tissue and throw it in the garbage.
5. (This one is a daily occurence) Get off your brother!
6. You talk or say another word and you'll be forced to hold hands until you love each other!
7. Oh you want a drink? That's nice I want a million dollars
8. You need to point down so you don't pee on the floor, toilet or your own pants. I know we've talked about this before.
9. You're bored? I have a toilet that needs cleaning . . . oh you aren't bored now? It's a miracle!
10. All three kids are crying for some reason or another around naptime : Me - Oh we're all crying now? Can I cry too? Wahhhhh (cue all three stopping crying and laughing at me. Works every time)
11. Could you get off the back of the furniture.
12. (during potty training) Mommy doesn't pee in front of the tv, Daddy doesn't pee in front of the tv, Gavin doesn't pee in front of the tv so you can't either we are banishing the potty from the living room. *cue crying*
13. Stop chewing on your blanket.
14. No you can't wear your sister's pink elephant diaper.
15. Little boys make noises ALL. the. time so I hear myself saying be quiet a lot.
16. I'm hungry! Hi Hungry I'm Mommy Nice to meet you. Do you know where Rowan went?
17. I know it's really fun but could you please not spray the febreeze and make mommy want to choke from the smell.
18. Rowan my keys and the toe nail clippers are not a gun go put them back where they were!
19. Sit down while you're eating or I'll duct tape you to your chair.
20. Dear son, could you please not wait until you almost pee your pants to yell "I gotta go pee!" and then have to grab you and make a mad dash up the steep 13 stairs to the bathroom just to make it on time. I know peeing is inconvenient for you but it would really help me out.
21. No you can't watch 20 episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba, I think I'll go crazy if I see one more episode.
22. Yes hitting your head will hurt your brain
23. Stop fake burping who taught you that? Daddy? oh great!
24. You don't need to announce every time you're done going potty or poop or hey you just farted! Awesome! I think I could've lived without the newflash!
25. No you can't have candy for breakfast
26. Don't pull the strings on your socks, as hard as it is to believe that's why your socks get holes
27. No you can't go jump in the puddles with your regular shoes on
28. Don't push your little sister down the stairs.
29. There's a lot of stuff I don't want to do but I do anyway, I don't want to wipe your butt but I do.
30. And last but not least Don't eat gum off the park bench! It's not free gum it's disgusting *cue gagging noises*

This has been a collection of things I never thought I'd say and has been going through my head all morning. Hope you enjoyed! Anyone have anymore fun ones to add? I couldn't think of them all but I'm sure there's more lol.

What it's like to be a Mom . . .

2011-08-16T10:55:00.000-07:00

Lately I've had some rough days and mornings and been up early and go to bed late with so much going on. It's extra crazy the past couple weeks with family stuff going on and adding in being a parent makes things super stressful. I found myself looking at the goings on in my household and needing to voice how I feel and how stressful it is to me. So here it goes:

What It's Like to Be a Mom

I haven't showered in two days and plan to later this afternoon when my husband gets home but it probably won't happen until after dinner.

I am potty training a 2 1/2 year old while dealing with a teething baby who screams bloody murder at me all day long. My lowest point the other day dealing with this was Rowan had had 3 or 4 pee accidents that day and had peed double what he usually does in the bathroom upstairs, not two feet from the toilet, if he had take two steps to the right it would've been in the toilet. So I pulled out the cleaner and paper towel and was cleaning it up and the whole time I'm cleaning up pee I have a 10 month old yelling at me from her bumbo seat because her teeth hurt. Oh and did I mention my 5 year old is not dealing well with Rowan getting attention for using the toilet and has to announce every time he goes to the bathroom despite being potty trained for 2 years+ and requests a candy every time he goes pee.

Lets see what else? Most days I feed my children their meals and snacks healthily and they are happy but for some reason I can't remember to feed myself. I pour them bowls of cereal but find it difficult to grab a third bowl and pour myself one until probably 2 hours later when I realize Oh wait I haven't eaten. Yesterday I ate mostly crap because it gave me energy and kept me going for the day, don't judge it was a hard day yesterday. Some days I feel like I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached.

After three kids I feel like I'm doing ok weight wise but secretly I hate certain parts of my body. Before I had children I wasn't super thin but I was at least within a healthy range for weight and would eat relatively well. With everything I deal with during the day adding in trying to eat right and exercise is hard. I have quite a few friends who are runners and are in great shape and I've concluded that most of them are done having children and make a huge effort to do it. I just need to get to that point before I can get in shape or at least get my body back from being loaned to my baby with breastfeeding before I can go full tilt into exercise and diet change.

Most days I feel like I am drowning in laundry, I can't seem to ever catch up and have all of the laundry done and put away before it replenishes. A friend once posted that Laundry is a Monster that hides in corners, under beds and in closets, just when you think you've gotten it under control it pops up somewhere else.

One of the few things I've actually kept up on is the dishes which makes me feel good that at least one thing stays somewhat clean in my house because with three little kids they are similar to a tornado. Corinne recently learned to crawl which is so exciting because I love when my children hit a new milestone but now she adds to the tornado.

Having little boys = pee on my floor it's just a fact of life that little boys are easily distracted and sometimes miss when they pee standing up. I've actually out of curiosity watched Gavin use the bathroom and he stares at the ceiling or anywhere else instead of paying attention where he's aiming and misses often so I started having him help me clean the bathroom on Saturdays. Thank goodness for my steam mop to clean the floors. Is it weird that I love that thing so much?

Which leads to another thing, I get excited for cleaning appliances. I used to think that was pretty sad but certain items make my life so much easier. This past Christmas all I wanted was a Shark Steam Mop and my mom got it for me. You'd think I had gotten that red racer bb gun from christmas story with how excited I got, I even asked my mom if I could mop her floors ha ha. Before that we bought a Dyson, and anyone who knows anything about Dysons they are freakin' awesome! As soon as it arrived I vacuumed my floors probably a dozen times just to see it work :).

Trying to go anywhere with my kids makes the trip take twice as long. Lately I think my husband has discovered that if he sends me out to go window shopping, even if I don't buy anything and am only gone for an hour I come home a lot happier and any small things we need get picked up from the store a lot faster if he sends me by himself. I appreciate it a lot and he always reminds me that in his job he gets a break from the kids and I deserve to take time for myself.

Next topic: I feel guilty doing anything for me sometimes. It seems weird that as mothers we give all of ourselves to our families and never take time for ourselves but it just becomes a way of life when you have kids. Being selfish isn't really an option but every once in a while I try to take time out for myself because it's just mandatory or my self esteem will crash and burn.

On Sundays sometimes I feel like there isn't much point in going to church because I spend most of my time in the hallway. I joke sometimes and say "someday I will go to class again, when I stop having babies" but it's pretty much true. When one baby goes to Nursery then we have another one, its an ongoing pattern so I guess when I'm done having babies I'll get more out of church. I have been reminded though before that going to church on Sunday even if you spend most of the time in the hallway I am being a good example to my kids about where we need to be.

Despite having a frustrating week with everything I am so grateful for the successes we've had this week. We made a trip to Canada to see my niece baptized which was amazing!! She is such a sweet wonderful spirit who knows more then I realized and you could definitely feel the spirit at her baptism. I am so glad we were able to go and despite being out of town Rowan did awesome with his potty training! Right before we left he finally got over his fear of using the toilet instead of the little potty and that made things a lot easier too. I realize Gavin just needs a little more attention and voicing my gratitude to him to help compensate for all the extra attention Rowan is getting for potty training. And miss Corinne just needs to be cuddled while she works those teeth out.

I may be only one woman but to them I am the world and I am realizing more and more that I need to take care of myself more. I hope sharing these inner thoughts will help me feel better and make you feel better that you aren't alone (or at least I hope I'm not alone in these thoughts) ha ha. Mothers of the world here is my confessions. And those who are trying to decide whether to have children, it's worth every moment! As scary as it sounds reading all my thoughts, I wouldn't change it for the world and as they get older you'll miss these days, I keep having to remind myself of these things.

School starts soon and my oldest is going to Kindergarten, I can't believe he's already old enough for school. I can't believe that! My trio are such a blessing and I wouldn't change it for the world. Thanks for letting me let it all out :)

Isabella Rose Gifford

2011-05-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

I know this seems strange to write a whole narrative about someone else's baby but this isn't just any child. I remember the day Bella was born like I had given birth to her myself. I was there the whole time, I had just had my first baby 4 months before and I was so excited that my best friend was going to have a baby. I got the phone call that Leahona had gone into the hospital and I was alone at home with no car and a 4 month old. I wanted to be there so badly but had no way of getting there fast. At the time we were living in some apartments where I was really good friends with the landlord and he happened to be there and I asked him point blank if he could take me to the hospital because my best friend was having her first baby. I look back and it seems so weird and funny that I got a ride from him but he was super nice and totally got me there.

So I was there along with Leahona's husband Jacob who was super nervous but awesome helping his wife get through every contraction and Leahona's mom was there too. She was doing so well but was so tired from being in labor at home for a long time and then a long time at the hospital as well. Eventually she had broken down and got the epidural because she was so exhausted. Gavin who was just a baby slept in his carseat for a while beside me and was such a good boy and was really happy and quiet through the whole thing, another thing I think is kind of funny and weird is that he was there when Bella was born too. They are best buddies to this day. When the time finally came that she was ready to push arrived it seemed it wasn't meant to be. Leahona pushed for 6 hours straight and Bella wouldn't move. They tried using a vacuum and her doctor right before she tried it admitted that if it didn't work then they were going to have to do an emergency c-section because the baby wasn't moving. I know that scared me and I wasn't even the one having the baby, I can't imagine how terrified she was and how exhausted she looked, let alone felt but it was time for that baby to come out. After three attempts with the vacuum to no avail it was time to have a baby. Instantly everyone was in the room, nurses and techs unplugging things, and prepping her for surgery and then they were gone. I remember her mom and I just standing there alone in the room wondering what was going to happen and when we would hear anything? Should we leave the room? Finally a nurse came in and said we should gather up our stuff and go wait in the waiting room and someone would let us know when she got out of surgery.

After what seemed like forever finally we were told that she was out and we could come back and see Leahona in the recovery room. She was super tired but doing really well and she had a popsicle lol. She was eating that thing like it was filet minon and I remember laughing so hard but she hadn't had anything to eat in more than 24 hours so that popsicle was the best tasting thing in the world lol. We then asked how much Isabella had weighed and it turns out she was just shy of 10 lbs! No wonder she wasn't coming out! Because of some complications Bella had to be in the NICU in an incubator which was quite a site for a baby of her size. It looked strange to see this giant baby among the teeny little ones in there but she was so beatiful! Dark skin, dark hair and so chubby and very swollen. I took a couple pictures of her to show friends and my family that knew Leahona. Today Bella turns 5 years old and I wanted to make a special tribute to this special little girl. She is firey and spunky and proved by her birth that she has to do things her way or no way which can be good and bad sometimes but always ends up making everyone laugh in the end. Happy Birthday Beautiful Bella! We love you and hope you have an awesome day!

Love Stephanie, Spencer, Gavin, Rowan and Corinne

When it seems like life is going well, Heavenly Father throws you a curve ball . . .

2011-05-05T10:32:00.000-07:00

I know this seems cynical but in a lot of cases it's the truth. I feel like we get going doing everything right. We have extra money, we're building a good food storage, we're paying our tithes, going to church and really feeling spiritually uplifted and out of left field something HUGE happens! In our case we had started to decide that staying in our current apartment was good idea, I was getting ready to gutt out our bedroom and get rid of some old clothes because I had too much and I had lost weight so I needed to purge my fat clothes (this in itself was a huge victory but my bedroom looked like a bomb of clothes had gone off, it always looks worse before it looks better) and life in itself though was just generally going well. We were going to stay where we were and save money so that next year we could take our savings and combine it with our tax return and possibly use it for a down payment on a house. It was a good plan, it was a safe plan. Not the ideal to have three kids in a two bedroom place but we were happy. Then a curve ball threw us way off. The fire.

Rewind to about a year and a half ago when we were meeting with our insurance agent and good friend Tony Clarkson who met with us at our place and was going over our policy to make sure we were getting the best deal and best insurance we could get. Over the years we had never thought of renter's insurance because we were generally careful people and thought "well nothing is going to happen so why bother paying for something we'll never use?" This in itself I realize was a dumb way to think. Tony looked over our policy we had just bought a new vehicle and we were saving money on our insurance and so he suggested we add it because if we did it would cost the same as what we were paying before we got our new car. We said "Sure add it on why not?" I'm so glad that we did.

Fast forward to the present. Now that I look back I feel stupid for the events that happened. Why wouldn't we think to turn off the burner? Talking to a lot of people, this is a common fire that happens. You heat up oil in a pot to fry something whether it be fish and chips like we were doing or something else. Realized we didn't have the batter for the fish that we needed. We live a few blocks from Albertsons so Spencer decided to run to the store real quick to buy some. Unbeknownst to me he left the oil on heating up and forgot to turn it off. In a matter of minutes the fire alarm was going off. This happened the night before when we were making grilled cheese sandwiches because something got on the burner, I thought that's what had happened. When I came around the corner and saw the flames I knew that was not the case. Usually I panick, ask my parents I have a trigger panick reaction it sucks! Somehow seeing the fire I knew what to do, reached for a box of baking soda and didn't have any. Looked for flour to throw on it and I had run out not that long ago. After exhausting all I could think of I knew we had to get out.

I ran around the corner and picked up the baby, grabbed Rowan by the arm and shoved him towards the door and then realized I couldn't see Gavin. He is super sensative to noise and had covered his ears and ran to hide in his room. I started shouting for him and he didn't answer. "Gavin GAVIN where are you?! Please answer Gavin! Come to mommy!" I started to cry when I saw him come out of his room shouting for me. Quickly and awekwardly I shoved the boys through the front door and started shouting as loud as I could "FIRE, PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME FIRE FIRE!!" across the parking lot at the apartments across the way two of my neighbors came running, one with a cell phone in hand calling 911. As soon as I got out on the porch my memory of where the fire extinguisher was jogged and I tried my best to get the kids down the stairs, as I hit the driveway a few of my neighbors scooped up the boys and I ran under the porch and broke the glass with my fist to get the fire extinguisher. I handed it to John (the neighbor who called 911) and he handed me his cell so I could talk to the dispatcher. I begged him to go back up and put out the fire, "my home, my things please I need you to put out the fire before it spreads! PLEASE!" He ran up and put it out really quick and shortly after he came out the fire department had shown up.

They ran up and brought industrial fans and then opened all the windows and blew all the smoke out as fast as they could and inspected the damage. All the while we were standing in the rain and various neighbors around our place came out with blankets for my kids and the baby. Rowan had no shoes on and one shoe in his hand. He had been trying to get me to put on his shoes just because he wanted them on before everything took place. Another neighbor brought Gavin a stuffed penguin, now that I look back I can't remember where these neighbors live and I wish I had a way to thank them more. It was amazing to see such a response. Another neighbor next door brought me my landlord's number so I could call him and tell him what happened. Finally everything was over and the firefighter brought us back in and oh the sight of it was aweful. I couldn't stop shaking thinking about it over and over. Scariest experience of my life but I know I was guided to know what to do the whole time and we were all spared. My poor cat was ok but covered in soot and really scared and dirty.

The next step was calling the insurance company. This was the frustrating part, we were all ok which was important but now what? We later found out that the claims department was in federal way and they weren't going to be able to make it down to look at the damage and give us an estimate right away but they were going to hire a cleaning company to come in right away and start inventorying and getting everything packed up, moved out and cleaned so that they could get it back to us. A week later was when the agent finally showed up and they could actually start packing stuff and moving it out. I was not pleased to say the least but I was just happy to start getting stuff out and moving on. We stayed with my parents for the first week. I am SO grateful for my family! They already have a full house and took us in no questions asked. The boys took the upstairs spare room and shared a double bed and Spencer, the baby and I were downstairs on the futon in the living room. Not the greatest but when you are homeless and need someplace to sleep it worked. This was the week before Easter. How sad is that that I didn't have anything for the boys for Easter now because anything I might've had got carted away or thrown out damaged because of the fire. My sister and my mom were amazing and helped me get to the store and buy a few things for the boys. The night before I helped my sister hide eggs which is part of my favorite part of being the "Easter Bunny" because you can hide things in plain sight and they will stare right at it and not see it. Easter was so much fun and we got through but come the next week the early mornings of my nephews coming down at 6:30 am and the baby not sleeping well we decided to ask my in laws if we could stay with them. They graciously allowed us to come stay with them and they have rooms for all of us so it has been super nice. They are so amazing and have adjusted to us being here and helped with their vehicle so that I can get Gavin to and from school.

After everything was moved out the next step was finding a new place to live. I searched through different ads on craigslist and found a few apartments that had 3 bedrooms but were more money then we wanted to spend but we were willing to if it meant we'd have a home. I searched and less then a week before the end of the month almost three weeks after the fire I pulled up craigslist and there was an ad for an apartment for $730 a month to rent and move in ready. I pulled it up and the address was one I knew. It was two doors down from our current apartment and on the ground floor. I was in shock! Could it really be this easy to move? I told Spencer about it and he told me to call and see if I could set up an appointment to check it out. I went and looked at it and it was perfect! We filled out the application for it and the next day signed the lease to move in before the beginning of the next month! I am still amazed we found a place before the end of the month but this too I feel like I was guided. Through this whole process even though I was in shock half the time the Lord has blessed us and we've been taken care of. Today we move somewhat into our new place. They are bringing us our big furniture so we can have a place to sleep and dressers and couches so we can stay at our new place. The rest of our things will be delivered in a few weeks and it'll all be over hopefully. Until then I continue to pray and thank the Lord everyday for his protection. Our things are nice but they can be replaced. My family is what's most important and they were all spared in this whole process. I am so happy to know that he watches over us in our lowest points and craziest hours. I never once thought that I'd ever be in a fire and now that I have my experience has helped others. My good friends have all gotten renter's insurance when they didn't have it. My mom bought a deep fryer and stopped frying with oil in a pan on the top of the stove because there is no temperature control on the stove. I feel dumb for the mistake that we made but I feel so happy that it's helped someone else and we were taken care of by our insurance. For those going through struggles right now a friend of mine posted a quote on her facebook this morning and it was so true: "Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."- C.S. Lewis

It's been a looooong time. . . .

2011-02-24T11:42:00.000-08:00

It's been a while how you been? My main reason for blogging today is because I really want to win this. It's http://www.facebook.com/MotherOfASale they are having a $250 cloth diaper giveaway and I am wanting to start cloth diapering badly so I am letting everyone know about it and hope that I win. :) I have two diapers so far and was considering buying more but if I could win this I would be so happy! So here's hoping I do. And here's a pic of my baby and her fluffy butt. Hopefully I can get more and full time cloth diaper at home.

You don't know what you've got til' it's gone. . .

2010-03-02T23:22:00.001-08:00

No nothing has happened with the pregnancy. Everything is going well but I felt inspired to write about this subject because it seems like I have a group of close friends and one family member who are struggling with it and I wish I could take it away. Not that these people are infertile but they are going through what I've gone through so far in my reproductive life and it seems like some bizarro life switch has happened and now I am the one with no problems getting pregnant this time and they are trying so hard without success. I was talking to my sister (I hope she doesn't mind me writing this but I just feel like I needed to get it out). She lost a baby back in December at 23 weeks pregnant and I know she is struggling the most right now because she needs to get pregnant again and so far hasn't been able to get pregnant.

The reason for my title: It's almost a cruel joke that when you really aren't struggling to get pregnant or having struggles with something this hard you have no problems with it but when it's most important and you want to and NEED to like she does, she can't. I feel like the best thing I can do for her right now is listen and tell her I know what she's feeling and going through because heck that's my life when trying to have kids. I've had to accept the fact that I have a special doctor and medications and injections to get pregnant and stay pregnant but I've never wished that my worst enemy would go through what I have had to, to get to that point of acceptance, let alone someone this close to me who I love so much.

I wish I could go back and never have to go through the miscarriages I had because I feel like I have post traumatic stress disorder. I will never know what it's like not to worry about losing a pregnancy. I will never know the excitement without the fear when in my first trimester. As she's told me, she will never even feel like she's at a safe point in her pregnancy because she was 23 weeks and there was no indicator that anything was wrong and that would terrify me too.

You don't know what you've got til' it's gone. That security knowing that you are going to have a problem free pregnancy and a healthy baby at the end. For those of you who have never had a miscarriage and healthy, problem free pregnancies I can give you a glimpse into what we go through. I am almost 10 weeks pregnant. Every time I feel a pain, or wake up feeling "good" I am terrified that I am miscarrying and check for blood. Every time I go to the bathroom, I wipe 3 or 4 times making sure there isn't any blood. I am terrified in between appointments that something will happen so I bought a doppler to listen to the heartbeat. The list goes on and I will stop at that.

Despite all of it I thank the Lord every day that he blessed me with my doctor and his insight as to how to help me become pregnant with my miracle boys. For those of you who know the struggles I speak of I wish I could take it all away and you would never have to experience it. I have gone through it long enough and dealt with it that I would do it all again just to spare those I love from that heartache. At the same time I feel like there is a reason for it happening, not that the Lord decided to teach you a lesson by taking your child but out of it happening he is trying to teach you something, whether it is turning to him more and asking for help, trusting in him. I hope you know that all of you who are dealing with this, I am here to listen and love you and know what you are going through. I just wish I could do more. Lots of prayers to all of you!

The Sweetest Sound

2010-02-18T12:32:00.000-08:00

Most of you know that I am expecting my 3rd baby, and in turn have had to go through the progesterone injections and will get my second ultrasound soon. Baby Beard is doing good so far but for peace of mind between appointments I bought a doppler to be able to check out baby's heartbeat every once in a while. Because it's so small I am not feeling the baby yet but being able to check out that bean is doing good brings me lots of peace of mind. I got my doppler in the mail yesterday and tried it out as soon as I got it and voila! Found it within minutes! The sweetest sound that my ears have ever heard. Here's the baby's first ultrasound when it was a peice of rice, in 5 days I will be having my second ultrasound and hopefully it'll be a peanut by then. Enjoy!

Christmas: Beard Style

2010-01-21T08:07:00.000-08:00

For Christmas this year we actually worked really hard at not being grinches. I'm not really a Grinch persay but it's hard to put up a christmas tree when both your kids are born in the winter and right before and after Christmas. In turn 2006 we had no tree because I was due after and didn't want to have to take it down, 2008 we had the charlie brown christmas tree pictured here because Rowan was just born and I was still healing and well we were too lazy to put one up and have to take it down after Christmas so call me Grinch.

This year though we had a change of heart, I feel like Gavin is old enough to remember these fun memories so I went all out and decorated this year. It was so much fun and he was so cute about wanting to put the decorations on himself on the tree.

Placing his first christmas ornament on the tree. It's a little baby puppy in a jolly jumper and says "My first Christmas 2006"

Rowan even got in on the decorating action, he was so cute. This year he learned to say "Santa" and he points him out whenever he sees anything remotely that looks like Santa. He was surprisingly not too bad with the tree, I had it put up on the coffee table so that it was high enough to not be a temptation. Our tree has become traditionally a cartoon kid tree. One year we even put a stuffed Spongebob on the top for an "Angel" to complete the ensemble. If you look closely at the end result you'll see: The Incredible Hulk, Wolverine, Spiderman, Fairly Oddparents, Spongebob, Princess Leia and Quaigon Jin, and various other cartoon and comic characters. Having boys so far we have kind of kept it kiddie and I really love it.

We had a very full Christmas this year and were blessed to have a lot of family here. Gavin and Rowan's Auntie Amanda and now Uncle Donovan got sealed on December 22nd 3 days before Christmas. It had been a long dating but it was worth it and they had a beautiful sealing and reception afterwards that evening. In turn everyone in the Beard family was here this year for Christmas which made for a very full but happy house. We had so much fun playing with cousins and Aunts and Uncles. Here is a picture of them outside the temple after they were sealed.

This is becoming a very long post so I am going to end it for the moment and I'll do part two when I have the time in a bit. I have to get the boys going and ready for Gavin to get on the bus. Look forward to the rest, To Be Continued . . . .

It's been a while

2010-01-20T09:56:00.000-08:00

I need to get back into blogging but it's been so busy that I don't know where to start. Has it really been that long since I blogged?! Jeez well here goes. Lets see, last time I check I still don't have my license but I'm really REALLY close so don't say I'm slacking because I really am trying. I just have to get my parking and small maneuvering down and I'm good to go. I am thinking I might make the appointment and just do it so that I have a goal day to be done with it. Spencer had originally planned to do an internship with Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Western Washington to finish his degree but they were wishy washy and it fell through BUT we were blessed and shortly after it fell through his school advisor sent us a new one and he is currently working at that Wednesday through Friday and really enjoying it. It is with the Center for World Indigenous Studies and he is helping the IT guy there revamp and update 6 or more websites. He uses a Macintosh which is really different for him, but he said if he could afford one he would totally get a Mac because they are really user friendly and super nice. The last step to getting this degree done and hopefully a career in the future when he is done. That prospect has definately been a huge motivater for him to get this done.

Rowan and Gavin had their birthdays these past few months. Rowan turned one and we had a blast with family. I made him a Super Rowan cake. I don't know why but it seems to have become a tradition to make a small cake for their first birthdays with tons of bright colored frosting and let them go to town but by the end of it the colors muddle together and end up red or brown and my one year old sweet baby looks like a mini cannibal just finished his human meal! Yipes! I love the blackmail pics though so it works. They will come in handy when they have their first girlfriends along with all the other cute blackmail pics I have. I feel evil doing this but I can just see the fun potential for me and Spencer when our boys are teenagers.

I will catch you up on the events that have happened since Rowan's birthday in seperate posts just so that it isn't a ginormous post. I want to act like I actually thought to blog at these events lol even though I'm a slacker!

Here's a few pics of the birthday boy and all the events, hope you love them as much as I do!

Driver's License AKA the bane of my existance.

2009-10-03T12:42:00.000-07:00

So I made the decision a week or so ago to go and get my learner's permit to drive before my test voucher expired and I passed. I've made the decision that it's not scary anymore. In fact I think I felt more nervous for the written test then the actual driving. Since getting it, Spencer has become the passenger when we drive around town which is nerve wracking but good at the same time. It means I can get in as much practice as possible but at the same time my husband isn't the most patient person at times so I get nervous. I have a hard time changing lanes, there's a lot to remember when doing this maneuver and I'm working on it. My biggest problem is making sure I keep the wheel straight while I shoulder check, then when I see no one is there I try to change lanes too quickly and end up turning the wheel too far and too fast to get into the next lane. Hopefully with a little more practice I will get the hang of it. I'm hoping to have my license sometime before the end of the year so that if we are able to we can make a road trip to see my nephew be baptized in the beginning of January. This entails driving for 10 hours or so to Montana and Spenc is usually the only driver which can get tiring, I want to be able to take a shift if you would and help by driving half of the way. Here's hoping, wish me luck! I will have it this time!

Could you please leave me alone?!

2009-10-03T12:36:00.001-07:00

Not you readers but my stinkin crazy hormones. I find myself on a daily basis lately telling my hormones to chill out! I'm up, I'm down, I'm left and Right and can't seem to keep a stable mood lately. It's sad because the person I care about the most, my husband takes the brunt of it and still sticks around and loves me. I guess we've been married for this long that he's used to it but I wish he didn't have to deal with me sometimes. I swear the past week I've been the moodiest craziest person, yet I can't help myself sometimes. I try to stay home away from the world when these moods hit but that just makes things worse. I find myself being irrational, crying over the dumbest things or laughing at stuff that isn't that funny. I feel like I'm going insane. I wish I knew what to do.

I've been looking into herbs to try and help balance things lately but I know I shouldn't take anything unless I consult my doctor first. Only problem with that is I don't have health insurance. So what to do? I try to exercise every day to help my mood but since the weather has changed and gotten colder the motivation to keep it up is waning. I'm tired, and I hate being cold. I think part of the mood swings has been because of the season too. I think I have a touch of that seasonal mood disorder but who knows. All I know is I can't keep this up and feeling this way or I will probably go insane. I hope I can find something to help with this. I know I don't want to subject my husband to my craziness anymore. Sorry this is mostly a vent on how I'm feeling right now. I figured if i write it down maybe I can get a grip and change my mood. Thanks for reading.

Milestone, the Big 50!

2009-09-27T13:11:00.000-07:00

Before

After

So I'm layed up in bed on the laptop and have totally slacked off yet again on my blog. The main reason I am layed up is well, how do I say this without getting responses of TMI. I am one who gives too much information, what can I say? Not much embarrasses me in that light. Either way I am in pain and on my monthly cycle. One of the things I wanted to share so please don't TMI because it's actually a HUGE victory for me. Since January of this year I started my weight loss journey in hopes of losing at least 70 lbs mostly to see if I could reverse my infertility issues and feel better, look better, be healthy etc. I started this blog when I was pregnant after going through infertility treatments for the second time and successfully concieving our second son. It's a long hard trip to go through as many women I know go through it. If you are curious what causes my issues just go back to the very first post that I made, it's all explained there. Anway, the whole point of saying this is I have hit a very real, very exciting milestone. I have officially, Drumroll Please! Lost 50 POUNDS! *Angels sing Halleleuah!* I finally did it. I can not believe it! And on top of this, I have had 3 consecutive months of regular periods. I never thought I would ever have a regular cycle ever and yet there it is. It showed up last night and with one fell swoop I am showing progress with possibly reversing some of the effects of my Polycystic ovarian syndrome. What's funny to me is I look back and when I first talked to my infertility specialist, the first thing he said was "The best way to improve and sometimes reverse the problems with infertility in PCOS is to lose weight" Of course at the time I was overweight, infertile as far as I was concerned and who wants to hear, "lose 50 lbs" as their treatment? Give me medication so I can have a baby was all I wanted to hear. Now that I see the proof is in the pudding, WOW is all I can say. So I'm not to my goal weight but close enough that I can see the end at the tunnel of the losing weight journey I've been on. 17 more pounds is all that's left for me to reach my goal, or at least my current goal. I dunno what I'm going to feel like at that point or if it's where I want to be. I may stop sooner, I may go further who knows. I prefer to keep some curves though and be a healthy weight for me so probably not much less if I do. I remember thinking at the beginning of this, I wasn't going to be one of those people that loses the weight and then has to tell every person they see eating something they want to that it's so bad for them and they should eat this way or exercise this way and they'd feel better but I can see why someone would. I feel so amazing that I want everyone I know to feel the way I do. When I do it though I mostly try to be encouraging and give suggestions when asked for them because I know how annoying it is to get comments from former overweight super skinny people without asking and think "That's easy for you to say look at you!" So for now if anyone wants advice I can tell you what worked for me and if not, good luck with what works for you. As long as we're both happy it's all that matters. 17 more pounds to go!

I'm a slacker and IT'S BEEN HOT!

2009-08-01T09:21:00.000-07:00

Ok so I've been a bit of a slacker with posting blogs, wish I could stay on the ball with this. Life gets in the way though and I forget. I'm so tired with a baby that's teething but those two front teeth of his finally broke through. I'll try to get a picture when they are more noticeable. It's been so freakin hot here lately! It's crazy! Luckily for us we had our landlord install our Air Conditioner at the beginning of the summer when we got our first hot day and I was not dealing with it without it. We've had our air conditioner for 6 years and never had it properly installed which is really weird I know but it's a unit that sticks out the window and we never knew how to install it properly. So when we used it in the past we'd either stick it part way out the window and rest the inside on the back of the couch or on a makeshift table to keep it from toppling over. What's funny about this is 1. it looked goofy and 2. it's a dehumidifier built in so having it be on the back of the couch it wasn't level and water would spill out of the bottom onto our couch. At the time we didn't care because it kept us cool and the couch was a hand me down crappy couch.

So we survived the last few days holed up in our apartment when the temperature reached a wopping 104 degrees! I called these days underwear days. Rowan was in his diaper all day, Gavin in his undies and me in my underwear too. Even with the air conditioner it was still pretty roasty once the sun hit the main windows in our place. Spencer was working long days at his client's house and was roasting with no air conditioning so they invented a way to stay cool by wetting washclothes and freezing them and then placing them on their heads. He brought me home ingredients for the best low fat/calorie fruit smoothies and that helped too. Now the temperature is gone down again and I'm really happy. I would rather be cold any day then HOT because when you're cold you just put on another layer. When you're hot there's not a whole you can do except maybe jump in a cold shower for a temporary fix. Hope everyone else is dealing with the heat well. Enjoy the sun!

6 months old!

2009-06-08T11:54:00.000-07:00

Rowan is 6 months old as of the 4th of June. Man time flies! I finally got my pictures my sister took of him when he was blessed at a month old and I can't believe how tiny he was. He has become such a sweet boy and will continue to bless our family. His list of acheivements so far are rolling over both ways, scooting backwards (he can't really go forwards and has yet to really figure out how to get anywhere going backwards mostly gets frustrated), he has two teeth on the bottom, weighs about 16 lbs, says mama and bwa bwa for da da or that's what we think it is. He continues to grow so fast but as he grows he is getting to be so fun. I love being his mama so much, I always thought being a mom would be amazing and its become more then that to me now. I wish I could slow down time for but a moment to enjoy them more. Keep on growing buddy.

Here's a couple pics to compare how big he's gotten.

And I had to share a picture of Rowan with sweet potatoes for the first time

Auntie Chelsea was feeding him (hence the mess lol)

"Mom Sick" AKA a Mother's Job is Never Done!

2009-05-20T13:34:00.000-07:00

Rowan has had a bit of a cough lately but has been getting better and so I didn't think oh maybe I should wash my hands or be warey of germs. Big Mistake! Last night before bed I started to feel ill and my throat got super duper sore and I knew it was coming on.

Now kid sick or Husband/Grown Man sick is totally different then Mom Sick. I was pondering this over and I thought man Mom's just can't be "Just Sick".

Despite waking up and feeling so crummy I still have to get up Gavin and put him on the potty, get him dressed, feed him breakfast, get him entertained by a movie while I get Rowan up and feed him, which of course I can't just give him food . . . I AM his food. That is time consuming and when I'm done manage to get myself something to eat for breakfast (which didn't happen this morning). I try to rest but of course Gavin has discovered he can open the fridge door whenever and goes and brings me the jug of milk which means he wants a drink. Rowan is lieing on the floor doing floor time and precedes to start screaming because he wants up or to be sitting up. I get Gavin a drink and put the milk away and get Rowan his bumbo chair all the while I still haven't eaten. Put on another video and go to lie down on the couch and Gavin being in the throws of potty training still yells for me "Potty Mommy!" Get up, put him on the potty, finish with that, wash our hands. I manage after this to get a bagel with cream cheese all the while Gavin is trying to get my attention again. He wants his mister potato head from the closet. Get potato heads. Rowan starts crying again, he seems to be getting tired and hungry again, it can't be time for that again can it? Look at the clock its already past noon! Feed Rowan and put him down for his nap. Kick the cat out of the bedroom. Get Gavin some lunch which he gobbles up fast. Finally some quiet to rest or so I think . . . Gavin grabs a nasal aspirator and thinks its funny to suction my arms but it actually hurts when he pokes me with it. So I take it away and say don't do that. Melt Down! Gavin gets thrown in his room. Naptime for all. I lay down to get in a quick nap and the phone rings. Toll Free my best buddy. I don't answer . . . They call a second time! I answer and its a collection agency for someone who doesn't live here. Keep calling me I dare you! So I wait on hold to tell the person on the other line who doesn't speak english that Michael C Reckor doesn't live here and hasn't lived here for 3 years. Lay down again but can't sleep so I look around and there's laundry everywhere so I decide to throw in a load. Sit down to blog . . . And the day goes on. It boggles the mind how when everyone else is sick they get babied and coddled until they are feeling better and can get back to their normal responsibilities but the work of a mother is never done and we can't just stop and "Be Sick" or the world would stop turning and the household would go to pot. Today I say thank you to all the moms who keep the world turning despite being knocked over by sickness. Who would take care of everyone else when they were sick if a mom didn't do that job? No one that's who!

I finished this post and not 10 mins later Gavin comes up to me with blood dripping down his forehead. He had gotten in a scrap with the cat and guess who won? Scared me half to death! It was only a small scratch but it was bleeding enough to drip down his head. Add to the list *clean up blood off carpet and myself and bandage wounds from fight with cat* UGH!

Husband of Mine! Don't Scare Me Like That!

2009-05-15T12:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning I got a phone call from Spencer at work. He said he was leaving there shortly and my heart flipped. Last time I got a phone call like that he had been put on suspension and eventually fired. I just about freaked! We just moved and he was doing great at his new job. I said what happened? Its not about work phew so what is wrong? "Well my heart started to beat a little faster then its supposed to and then the adrenaline kicked in and after the EMT came and checked me out, my heart rate was up to 130 BPM so I am going to go get checked out"

Of course my mind starts racing, what does this mean? Is the muscular dystrophy doing something to your heart? My mind is very much on panic mode at this point. He went to a clinic and they told him to go to the hospital to get checked out. By this point I'm in full blown "Oh crap am I gonna lose my husband mode" Scared out of my mind he calls me before being brought back to the room to be examined and that was the last I heard from him for 3 HOURS! Can you imagine the thoughts I was having at this point? I sat and prayed and called a couple friends and they distracted me and reassured me everything was going to be ok all the while I was freaking out. Spencer finally called me and said "I'm fine" What a sigh of relief phew! Nothing like a scare like that to make you realize how long its been since he's seen a doctor. Its time to go see the MD specialist and get checked out. Why does it always seem to be that when you have medical insurance you never use it but when you don't . . . . you need it. Murphy I hate your stinking law! Luckily for us there is a charity that will cover 1 hundred percent of the bills for yesterday and Spencer got the rest of the day off to relax and recover. Don't you ever scare me like that again!

Welcome to the Beard House

2009-05-15T10:36:00.001-07:00

So I know I already blogged about moving but I figured now that I'm pretty close to being done unpacking I'd post some pics of our new place and give everyone Le Grande Tour! We love our new place, because it has a garage and its smaller but set up more nicely I think. Perfect for our family. My favorite part about our new place is we are saving a good amount of money on rent so we could afford a nice used washer and dryer so I can do laundry at home! I've been without a washer and dryer for the majority of the time we've been married (almost 7 years) and let me tell ya, I am so happy to have one now. With kids they make excuses to get stuff on their clothes so this makes my life so much easier.

Here's the tour in pictures for you. Enjoy!

Enter into the front Entryway

To your right is the Kitchen

Straight is the living room (a lot bigger then it looks)

Dining room

Bathroom
Master Bedroom

The Kid's Room

And my favorite part Our Washer and Dryer!!

Jonny Jump up you are now my new best friend!

2009-04-30T11:30:00.000-07:00

We decided it was time to buy a Jolly Jumper or as this one is so nicely named Jonny Jump Up. Rowan has started to want to stand and bounce but my arms and anyone else's can only hold up 15 lbs for so long before they need a break, in which he gets mad and starts crying. My sister said he'd probably love one so I went and bought one because I figured its cheaper then buying an exersaucer and it takes up less room in our apartment, always a bonus. He ended up loving it and its my new way of getting some time to do housework and wear him out for naps at the same time, two purposes in one!

When we were moving, our single bachelor friend Kelsey made the comment, "Do you guys think you have enough contraptions to cage a baby?" ha ha. We have a jonny jump up, baby pea pod, carseat, high chair, bumbo, crib. It made me laugh because I said to him well, not really my sister has what her kids affectionately call "The Baby Cage" which is this contraption . . . .The Super Yard XT!

Which not only keeps baby out of everything else but also protects her one year old daughter from her siblings. Although I've seen on many occasions when all three of her kids are in the baby cage playing with baby toys lol. Kelsey replied that's all you need then get rid of the rest and get the baby cage and have baby POW's forever more ha ha. I don't think there would be enough room in my living room for that thing though so we probably won't end up with anything like that any time soon.

Mommy Wow! I'm a Big Kid Now!

2009-04-30T10:36:00.001-07:00

I know goofy title but I couldn't resist. Gavin has made the all too important step of using the POTTY! Woo hoo *Angels sing a chorus of Halleluah!* Oh wait that's only in my head. I am so happy and proud of my little man. We always call him Baby or Honey but he's no longer my little baby anymore, he's getting to be such a big boy. Along with this milestone his speech is picking up and he is getting to the age where things are "Mine, not yours" and "Hey gimme that" Boy is he gonna have a rude awakening in the next couple months when Rowan starts to sit up and be able to take away his toys. Sharing so far has been ok but when it hits that point oh I have a feeling the battle is on. We'll see. We're still working on the whole telling Mommy and Daddy when you have to go but so far if I take him every couple hours he doesn't have accidents anymore but still has yet to go dry for long periods at night. We'll get there. Yay Gavin! Going potty makes Mommy so happy, it means only one set of diapers to change now! Woo hoo!

Let Sleeping Babe's Lie

2009-04-30T10:21:00.000-07:00

With the big move we've had a lot of trouble with sleeping schedule for Gavin. He's up a couple times a night I think a little disoriented as to where he is. As the days have gone though he's getting better, he was up once early this morning at around 6am probably because we have neighbors who's garage is under our bedrooms and leave at the wee hours of the morning in turn waking us up by opening their garage door (one of the down sides of this place). Yesterday in turn Gavin was pretty zonked, he was winy and tired and just about drove me nuts when it came to meal time because every bite was a battle. I made him some lunch of what he wanted and he wouldn't eat it without me helping him. Finally I left him to eat it on his own and was unpacking a box by the computer when I looked over and there on the dining room chair was Gavin curled up like babies sleep with their bum up in the air and their feet tucked under them. I thought for a second he was just playing around and I called out his name but no reaction. Is he asleep? I wondered. Sure enough he had curled up on the dining room chair and passed out like a kitten. I couldn't resist snapping a couple pics because it looked so hilarious. Poor guy had been up all night and was exhausted by 1:30pm. Here's the pictures.

The Big Move

2009-04-30T08:41:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday we finished packing up our stuff and made the big move from our current townhome to a little bit smaller 4plex about a mile and a half down the road because our lease was up. As you saw in past posts I've been stressing the move for a while but surprisingly the move went really smoothly and we had a lot of help. The morning of the move I was up at 7am and finished doing the odds and ends packing really fast while Spencer called friends and family to make sure we'd have help. Spencer's good friend Kelsey, who he's known since middle school was the main hauler in the move. He always agrees to help and has amazing strength for looking at him he's really tall and slender. The one stipulation to him helping us is that we do it all in one day none of this two day crap, it's all or nothing is how he put it. He was there at 9:30 and Spencer and Kelsey hauled over the majority of the boxes in their cars while I finished packing up the little bits and peices. At around noon we went and got the truck and my mom and dad came and took the boys so that they'd be out of the way. My dad stayed and helped and our friend Brad Bates showed up to help also. Like I said the main hauler was Kelsey, he was really good at packing everything in the truck. My favorite was I asked him how he could get all of it into the truck so well and he said "Hmmm I just think Tetris, find a slot and put the peices in" ahhh the mind of a geek works so different then the rest of ours lol. My mother in law came to help with her van earlier too I forgot to mention that and she bought a few foot long subs for us to eat before we started packing the truck, she was also a big help but couldn't lift some of the heavy stuff and I couldn't either so we both decided to be wusses and leave the real lifting to the men. By about 1:30 to 2:00 our friend's Jay and AC met us over at the place for the last big haul of stuff from the truck to the apartment up the stairs and filling the garage which was a big help another set of hands goes a long way. I stood back and directed traffic and showed the "men folk" where to put the boxes.

On monday we went over to the old place and cleaned til we almost passed out and then cleaned some more. We finished that by about 3:30. I hate moving, like so much! But in the long run I believe we will be able to live in the new place a lot longer then the previous because our landlord isn't going to be jacking the price up by 150 bucks like our old place was. On Tuesday I was looking through unpacking boxes and wanted to make some hard boiled eggs (one of Gavin's favorites) and couldnt' find my pots anywhere it was driving me nuts. I finally thought "oh no, did we check the dishwasher?" I called up Spencer and told him what had happened and luckily we hadn't turned in the keys to the landlord yet. On his way home from work he checked and sure enough the dishwasher was FULL of dishes, ALL of my pots, my pampered chef jug, plates, cups and utensils. I am so glad we caught this before the keys got turned in or I would be looking for a whole new set of pots. We are so greatful for everyone who helped! Now to finish unpacking, the easy part in my opinion!

Rowan speaks! News Reports This as a Record in the Beard House. . .

2009-04-30T07:59:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to capture this on video for a while but as soon as Rowan sees me he stops and knows he's going to get fed so I grabbed the camera this morning and just stuck it in the bassinet and so that's why his face is half cut off and it's really dark because I couldn't see the view finder and if I tried he'd stop because he saw me. Rowan has been doing this every time he's hungry since he was about 3 months old, he instantly took to saying Mama over and over until he gets fed. We think we're going to have an early talker on our hands which is kind of foreign seeing as Gavin didn't really speak english until well 3 months ago or so. We'll see though, they say the second takes to things faster then the first because they watch their older sibling/siblings and copy so here's hoping. I could use an early talker after the frustration of trying to figure out what Gavin was saying in "Gavinese" lol.

All Aboard the Complain Train!

2009-04-14T10:39:00.000-07:00

Ok so my older sister who's in a similar situation as I had a pity party the other day and today is turning out to be my turn. I am starting to pack for the big move in about 11 days and have yet to get to a box in my home. Seems like as soon as I start something the baby starts crying (he's teething really badly), Gavin needs to go potty every 5 mins and my brain and heart just isn't in it plus with no help from my husband it just seems so insurmountable by myself. I know I need to! This is the way my moves go every time, I leave it to last minute and when everyone comes to help us move, I'm scrambling to pack small things into boxes and it ends up taking all day long the day of the move to get everything over to the new place. We determined this time that we are going to rent a Uhaul which will help time wise with the move, now to just get the motivation. I slept like crap last night, I have been stressing which doesn't help with that. Did I mention my 4 month old is teething really bad and doesn't want me to put him down? Sometimes you just gotta let him cry is the comments I am going to get I know but when you're trying to think and concentrate on the task at hand the background music of a screaming baby gets my nerves and hackles up. It makes it hard to keep your cool.

I had my good cry and boarded the complain train now I feel better, time to take a breath and plunge in, wish me luck! I hope to come out victorious and with packed boxes.

Gettin' Domestic on ya

2009-03-22T23:36:00.000-07:00

I am not a cook by any stretch of the imagination but I've learned since changing my diet that cooking from scratch is A LOT healthier and better for you. I decided yesterday I was going to take on the task of making my own perogies. For those of you who have never had a perogie, oh man you have to try one at least once in your life. I have a very picky 3 year old who does not like vegetables and I can sneak veggies into these bad boys and he'll gobble them up with a bit of ketchup. Definately one of his favorite foods and mine too yum! What I didn't realize though when I took on the task was that it takes a long time to make when you haven't prepared the filling and everything beforehand. Yesterday it just didn't happen because I didn't have any sour cream for the dough. So tonight I started making them but waited til 6:30pm and it took forever! We had a very late dinner but I was so proud of my perogies I had to share. They had potato, cheese and onion filling and were ever so tasty. I will have to make them for friends or family next time I am over for dinner.

Gavin enjoying the meal, one of his favorites

The Perogies de la Stephanie, Voila!

Seal for Time and All Eternity

2009-03-22T23:22:00.001-07:00

Saturday I had the unique opportunity to drive the two hours to the Portland Temple and see my good friend Jenny and her husband Evan sealed to their beautiful little boy Daniel whom they just finalized adoption to him. I have been to a few sealings of parents to their babies who weren't born under the covenant but this was the first experience of an adopted child to their parents. It always amazes me that when babies enter the temple its like a calmness comes over them and they are so quiet and well behaved like they know that this is the house of the Lord. I barely made it on time to the sealing I literally walked into the chapel and they were about to lead the guests into the sealing room. We had gotten stuck in traffic and then took the wrong exit on the way to the temple because we had only been there maybe twice ever. But I made it! Minutes later Jenny and Evan Bowles came in and then their beautiful boy Daniel came in and his escort, the temple worker was so cute. A little old man who gave him his nametag to keep him happy.

The funniest thing about Jenny and Evan's little boy Daniel (and we heard this all day yesterday, and I'm sure Jenny and Evan hear this ALL the time) is that he looks so much like them! It amazes me, to look at that little boy you'd swear he was biological. He was definately meant to come to their family and they are truly blessed. After all was said and done we went to a small family potluck at a friend's house and then drove the long drive home making it home by 9:30pm. I haven't been to the temple as much as I should, but having the opportunity in occasions like this made me feel good to go to the house of the Lord. Spencer and I are planning to return without kids sometime in the near future so both of us can take in a session and take time for ourselves. Here's a couple of pictures of their family in the atrium afterward.

Mana from Heaven

2009-03-22T23:13:00.000-07:00

This is what my best friend calls the breast milk that I've been giving her for her little girl Iyla. Poor thing was having such a hard time with gaining weight, reflux and not sleeping well through the night that my heart ached. Her mom couldn't make enough milk and continued to pump for her getting barely a half ounce sometimes after hours of trying to no avail. I would've given up a long time before that but she tried so hard to give her daughter what was best for her. And no matter what the Formula companies say, its not the same or even close to the same as breast milk.

Leahona and I had joked about giving her daughter some of my extras a few times but in my head I was thinking "why not give her the milk that I pump every morning?" I am what you call the over producer in this area. Example: Rowan sleeps through the night for about 8 hours so by the time I wake up, feed him and then pump I can still get about 5 ounces and I freeze it and that is what I give to Leahona. Enough to give her a couple bottles a day or at least one at night time to keep her full and sleep better. I never realized what a blessing it is to be able to give my own kids a full year of breastfeeding until I saw someone who couldn't do it and my heart went out to her. She just happened to be my best friend and oh so convenient that I have plenty to spare for supplementing. Little Iyla has been recovering and getting over the reflux and sleeping so much better, I think it even helped her chunk up a little.

I get so many thanks for this small gesture that doesn't seem like much to me but I know it means a lot to my friend and her little girl.

Happy Birthday Leahona (Pinch, Pinch)

2009-03-21T22:52:00.000-07:00

My best friend in the whole wide world Leahona Gifford (who will eternally be older then me by a whole 7 months HA HA) just had her 27th birthday on St. Patty's Day, which is how I always remember it because who forgets to wear green? Not me! I don't want some pinches thank you.

Every year when that happy day comes around I call up my friend and ask her what she wants or better yet what she NEEDS for her birthday. I say this because last year it was a pair of shoes which to some people is small but to her she was really hurting and it was simple so I got her some with pink laces and voila happy Leahona! Anywho this year we both have 2 kids and are crazy busy moms who never see each other ever except for short conversations at church exchanging milk and feeding babies (see next posting). This year she thought for oh, lets say, two seconds and then said "I want to go out with you to see a movie." I said "hmmm I think I can arrange for that" and we preceded to make a date to go see a movie on Saturday morning.

As luck should have it we both recieved the same phone call from our friend Jenny Bowles announcing she was in town with her family and they were to be sealed to their son Daniel whom they just finished finalizing his adoption on Saturday! (also see another post about that). Saturday was out, plus the movie we wanted to see was not playing anymore. We decided instead that we'd go see a late night showing of "He's just not that into you" which I must say is a cute and funny movie. What made me laugh the most though was we went to the 10:20 showing and in the middle of the movie we both started to nod off! I only dozed for a second but I looked over and she was out too lol. I poked her and was like dang it I paid 20 bucks to see this movie we're both going to watch it. The joys of babies and not being as young and spry as we used to be. Not to say we're old foagies or anything but children and husbands really do change the amount of energy you have to spare. I enjoyed the time out we took for ourselves even if that one little part in the movie was blacked out for a minute oh well obviously it wasn't that important.

Happy Birthday Leahona! (A Pinch to grow an inch, and a sock to grow a block as my mother in law says! Love Ya!)

Diet / Me Update

2009-03-21T21:10:00.000-07:00

Hello my lovely fellow bloggers. Sorry I've been MIA for so long, I swear this whole two kid thing is way more complicated than I thought I am finally starting to get into the swing of things with these guys. Gavin is talking more and getting more and more defiant (did I really want him to talk?) He is sweet as ever though and loves his brother for now until he can move around and starts taking Gavin's toys, Rowan is still a good little brother and baby in Gavin's eyes. Diet Update: I've gotten used to the whole diet change and enjoy how I feel now that I'm eating healthier. I've lost about 34 lbs since I had Rowan which is nice, I feel I've hit a plateau though with diet change being the only thing I've done, I need to start exercising which isn't so much fun. With the weather being the way it has been (ie. Snow, Sun, Rain, Hail and Wind all in one day last week) I don't think its gonna happen very much but I will TRY to get some walking in.

Rowan had his 2 month appointment last week and is 14.5 lbs and 95 percentile for his head size (that's a big noggin) but he's doing well and survived his first attack of the needles. I am not a fan of the needles thing and we usually switch off when we do immunizations who gets to hold him during the deed but Daddy had to work that day so I was stuck with the chore of comforting the poor guy when it was all over. Since that day he has found his voice and cries a lot louder, coos a lot louder and can be heard a lot better then before. Nothing like a stick in the leg to make you scream bloody murder (which my sister said wasn't even that loud and to count my blessings he's a quiet baby).

Before and After the Shots : Sleep = Baby Defense Mechanism

I took on the task of making some doll clothes for my neice Ariel's 9th birthday. Ariel has an American Girl Doll that she got for christmas, for those of you who don't know what that is its a very expensive beautiful type of doll that reminds me of a porcelain doll that isn't breakable but the clothes for them is quite expensive so I bought a couple patterns and took on the challenge. I was really pleased with the result and Miss Ariel was super excited so it made it all the better. She only has the outfit that she came with and a few "no sew" ones she made herself for Samantha. Here's what a few of the peices looked like when they were finished.

Last week we had my older sister Erin come down for a week and we enjoyed visiting with her while she stayed at my parent's house. Gavin and Evan had a blast playing with each other. They are only 4 months apart and don't get to see each other very often but when they get together it is pretty cute especially since they are both talking more now and interacting which is hilarious. One day we went over and Evan greeted Gavin with "Come gimme a HUG!" and they preceded to hug and run off playing.

We ended up one of the days against my better judgement going and eating at Macdonalds. We had lunch and let he kids play which was really quite comical because Evan got stuck at the top of the play place and couldn't get down or at least wouldn't because it was too high. Averie to the rescue! Climbing up and lifting her 3 year old brother down who wasn't much smaller then her and rescueing him from the top not once, but TWICE while her ice cream was melting. She even went to the top and helped a little boy named Isaac who did the same thing and his dad couldn't get him down. Good job Averie!

For those of you who know me I don't eat at Macdonalds! I got sick the last time I did and I really will not eat there again since this incident. We had decided to go there because they have a play place and the weather was sucky lately so we wanted to get the kids playing so we went. It was myself, Gavin, Rowan, Erin, Evan, Averie, Brynlea, Shannon, Tanner and my mom and Every single one of us except Gavin and Tanner got sick in some varying form. I had really bad stomach pains and headache. Others had puking, diareah etc. Needless to say their name is mud and we will never go there again.

We also visited Charlie's Safari while Erin and her kids were visiting for the same reason as above (Washington weather is lousy). I had never been to Charlie's Safari and it is the best place! Adults are free admission because we are supervising our kids and each kid costs aproximately 8 bucks to get in, we had buy one admission get one free so two kids cost 8 bucks to get in, in our case and you have access to 4 or 5 bounce houses, a huge play place with 4 or 5 slides, giant balls, basketball court and a smaller tikes play place for the littler kids. Best of all its big enough so the parents can go inside and play too! We let them go for hours and played too which was so much better then Macdonalds. So much fun.

Wow I've missed out on blogging about a lot of stuff. Hope this wasn't too long winded and the update was thorough enough to let you know we're doing pretty good. Hope all is well with you and I'll blog more when its not so late and I can think better maybe tomorrow. There is so much more to blog about!

That Four Letter Word . . .

2009-01-20T10:03:00.000-08:00

I know what you guys are thinking, omg she's gonna swear! Well in my household it is a swear word in fact I have a saying "Diet is one letter off from Die" yes the word is DIET. My sisters and I have decided to go fully into weight loss mode together this year. Made our own Facebook group to cheer each other on and put up our lovely (horrific) "Before Pics" like the infomercials (and no one will ever see them except my sisters because they are terrible). Up until this point I hadn't been able to do anything because I'm breastfeeding and I wasn't 6 weeks post partum yet. I've surpassed the 6 week point and decided there's no time like the present to start. I started my diet or "lifestyle change" as we're calling it, yesterday. Ok so I know the change is supposed to be good for you but midway through the day I hadn't even been eating different for a WHOLE day and the cravings hit! Oh man it was brutal. I am what you call a "bored eater" and I hit the sweets when I am mad or sad or just all around in a mood. I had a situation with our pediatricians office and was so ticked off because we had to push back Gavin's 3 year appointment until February 13th and that's when it hit me.

Seriously I was so mad! I sat at my computer and started to crave chocolate or ice cream and it was so bad! Because I was mad my body was trying to get me to eat something sugary for comfort. It got to the point where I went into the kitchen and got me a healthy snack, Pretzel sticks and a fat free chocolate pudding cup, which didn't really help I mostly got mad at the pretzel sticks like they were hindering my eating something sugary. I tried the pudding cup thinking oh man its chocolate so it's got to help squelch this craving. Nope it wasn't enough apparently to make it go away. Needless to say though I resisted the urge. My mom said it takes a few days until the cravings start going away but somehow I think its going to be more then that. C'est La Vie, I'll just keep on keepin on, wish me luck.

First Smiles . . . So Flippin Cute!

2009-01-17T23:58:00.001-08:00

I dunno what I did to make him smile, in Rowan's opinion I'm sure I'm funny looking. I sat down in front of him while he sat in his swing and the smiles came out. I made faces and funny noises and it happened. He's already 6 weeks old, I can't believe how fast he changes from day to day and week to week. He is about 12 pounds and getting super chunky which is so cute. Spencer keeps making the comment that we sure do make cute kids together and I totally agree. I may be a little biased but they sure are something else. Here's the smiles. I fall in love all over again every time I look at these pics. *Note* there's a dimple there I know you see it, I sure hope he ends up with dimples they are so cute.

I had a good day

2009-01-17T23:32:00.000-08:00

So today was the 1rst annual Gifford Family Snowman party. My best friend Leahona and her husband Jacob put together this fun open house at their place and I decided to bundle up the kids and walk over to their house because Spencer was working. What a fun get together. We had pin the nose on the snowman, all the food was white and some people brought their favorite white foods. My personal favorite was the "Melted Snowman Soup" which was potato soup with a carrot and two raisins floating in it. Gavin and I had fun being social seeing as lately I've been a home body and I don't have many friends so taking the opportunity to meet and hang out with people from our ward was fun. I was the last to leave of course (I always tell them to kick me out whenever but of course we end up chatting until its really time for me to leave.) I noticed it getting dark and had to head home. Gavin passed out just before we left and woke up when we got home so it made for a nice quiet walk home with both boys sleeping.

For those of you who know me I'm a big dork and play world of warcraft every once in a while and so when I got home we made dinner and I got the opportunity to play a little. Gavin climbed into my lap and was watching Spongebob while I played but snuggled up under a blanket with me. Rowan started to fuss so I grabbed him too and pulled him up under the blanket. The 3 of us snuggled and warmed up while I kind of browsed the internet seeing as my hands were full of kids so I couldn't play anything. Shortly after Gavin had to go to bed but I sat with both my boys in my arms and felt truly blessed for such sweet boys. Gavin can be a handful at times but compareatively he really is a good little boy. Rowan so far is a really really really mellow baby and barely ever gets upset (this could change I know but so far he's 6 weeks and is really a good baby *knock on wood*). I am handling things with two so far ok, just need to get into the swing of things. I am learning to get a shower means getting up early and mastering the 3 minute shower. If not then it just doesn't happen and I end up staying in my pjs all day. I've also learned that having a baby at least in my case, makes your hair curl. Quite foreign concept to me seeing as my hair has been so straight for forever that any curl is like what the? I think back to when I was having the worst of my troubles getting pregnant with Gavin and it seems so long ago. Gavin just turned 3 on the 5th and in my head I kept thinking "you can't be that old already can you?" at the same time I'm sure when Spencer turned 31 on the 11th he was thinking the same thing about himself "you can't be that old already can you?" lol. Time flies when you're having fun I just wish it would slow down sometimes like it did this evening when both my boys still fit in my lap, someday sooner then later they will be too big to hold and I will remember today fondly.

Puddle Jumping Pics

2009-01-09T11:26:00.001-08:00

Puddle Jumping

2009-01-09T11:25:00.001-08:00

I discovered yesterday the key to entertaining a 3 year old is letting him run. It was cold outside but being in the house all day with nothing to do and nowhere to run around he was driving me bananas! It seemed every time I'd get an opportunity to sit and relax he'd be into something new or poking at the baby or just plain poking at me. I decided enough was enough! We're going outside! Get your boots and bundle up we had the best rain all day yesterday for making awesome puddles its time to go puddle jumping! I put Rowan in the snuggly and bundled him up and we were out there. The wind was so cold and I was freezing but Gavin seems to be cold resistant or at least really good at ignoring it. He found a really good one in the parking lot by a speed bump and preceded to wade ankle deep back and forth til he was absolutely soaked! I finally got cold enough where I said its time to go in and the only way to get him to come was to say "Ok I'm going inside goodbye! Have fun alone!" He slowly followed me in and when I got to the door had to strip him down to is diaper on the doorstep so he wouldn't get anything inside wet. We bundled him up with a big fleece blanket and I made him some hot cocoa. I told a couple friends what we had done and so far the consensus is I'm a fun mom, Yay me! Here's some pictures of the fun while it lasted.

Rowan Pics (also known as Mommy + Camera = Stalkerazzi)

2009-01-02T11:12:00.000-08:00

I had the same issue when I had Gavin. We have a digital camera but do we develop any pictures to put in a photo album? Uhhh no...

My sister in law pointed out in her last blog how its interesting how when we were teenagers there was no internet, or personal home computers (I know when dinosaurs romed the earth). I remember when we first got the computer and internet and that it had a timer on it because you paid for time not just the connection. We would get a warning that you have 15 mins before the internet would turn itself off. That has totally changed and pictures are all digital but the biggest problem we have is we don't develop any just keep adding and keeping them on the computer and sending them to people over the internet to keep people updated. I need to join a scrapbooking group that meets from my ward and get that taken care of as a goal we'll see if it happens. I've already started adding so many pics of Rowan and Gavin to our collection.

Rowan is already 10 lbs plus, almost a month old and getting chunky. My family was up in Canada for about a week and when they got back my mom asked to hold him and realized holy cow he's already getting so heavy! Here's some new pics of Rowan to show you his face is getting chubby and rolly even since a couple weeks ago. I guess mommy's milk is nice and fatty and is helping with that. Enjoy our little guy, he's still a really good baby and we're enjoying every moment of him still.

The Last pic was taken today so you can see the how chunky he is now.

Merry Christmas!!

2009-01-02T10:43:00.000-08:00

Ok so I know this is a little late but better late then never right? I am typing this with one hand as we speak and feeding Rowan with the other so this might take a while lol. The year Gavin was born we had decided not to put up our tree because I didn't want to have to worry about taking it down. He was born after christmas so that was fine. This year with Rowan being born before christmas we didn't have any excuse not to put it up except for I really didn't have the energy and Spencer was working so it never happened. This is instead what we did for Christmas morning. My mom equated it to the charlie brown pathetic tree on Charlie Brown's Christmas. Basically it was a centerpeice someone brought us from the Relief Society dinner and it worked for what we needed.

Gavin still doesn't quite understand all of christmas this year but next year we aren't going to be able to get away with it.

Spencer and I had decided this year not to buy anything for each other except for one gift each and the rest was going to be for the boys because we were low on cash from him switching jobs this year. We were very blessed to have everything we needed this year and then some. This year was a Thomas Christmas and here's Gavin opening presents.

And here's after Daddy set up one of the sets for him and he was playing with it. We've since then set up the biggest set and it has an electric Thomas with a controller to it and it entertains him for hours.

We did Christmas eve dinner at Spencer's parents house and then did Christmas morning at home and then went to my parents for the day because my little sister was there for christmas this year and we had a lot of fun and good turkey/ham dinner that evening. We got tons of snow as you saw in the last post so we went and played outside. My dad being from Newfoundland originally apparently had lots of experience building snow forts and so he went out without being asked and made one for the boys (I think for himself) lol. It was so cool!

All in all we had a wonderful christmas with lots of family and friends close by, Amanda and Donovan (her boyfriend) came up from Utah and were here until Saturday so we had fun with them and my little sister Chelsea was also here from Utah so it was great. We hope you had a wonderful christmas and a fruitful new year.

It doesn't show signs of stopping...

2008-12-21T15:42:00.000-08:00

Last night we were snowed in at my mom's house. I had decided I wanted to hang out at their house because my little sister Chelsea was flying in and they were going to get her from the airport yesterday afternoon. They headed up there in the snow and ice and made it with a little difficulty to pick her up all the while I stayed at their house with the boys (Austen, Tanner, Gavin and Rowan) just to save them from having to take the van which has not so good brakes and Shannon's car has 4 wheel drive. It took them a while to get home but they made it safe and sound but the snow hasn't stopped since it started a couple days ago. Spencer worked until 8pm last night and when he finally arrived at their house we thought about it and decided to bunker down here for the night last night because the roads were scary and our parking lot in our apartments would've been insanely full of snow. At this point though it doesn't show signs of stopping and I hate to take over the bedroom upstairs again from Chelsea but I dunno if we are going home again tonight. We shall see what its like. We haven't seen snow like this in years, its beautiful but dangerous. As our favorite radio station calls it, its Winterocalypse 2008! Hope everyone else is safe and warm with this crazy weather, can't wait to go play in it tomorrow. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Two boys, no time or energy ugh!

2008-12-18T10:01:00.000-08:00

Ok Ok I know i just had a baby like 2 weeks ago or so but I feel like the biggest slob in the world. First let me say I have no excuse because we got snow yesterday and I've been stuck in the house with the kids while Spencer works 12 hour days so I could've cleaned already and made the house look nice mostly so I feel better but I just have no energy or drive to do it. I wish I did! It seems it took me a week or so before the adrenaline from giving birth to wear off (don't know how this is possible) but now I'm exhausted! Part of my issue is I wish we still had our washer/dryer that the apartments make us rent. We really really can not afford to pay for one and can't really afford to buy one atm so laundry piles up and we can take it to parent's houses but it only lasts a couple days before its piling up again seeing as I have two sets of diapers to change and accident inevitably happen ie. Rowan is a quick draw and seems to pee on a couple sleepers, Gavin on the occasion will pee through (I need to potty train but also don't have the energy). So I look around at my messy living room, my disheveled bedroom and my downright ridiculous bathroom and am now determined something must be done! I am going to buck up and do some cleaning even if its only one room at a time as I have some energy it will be done! I mean that's one of my job descriptions as a stay at home mom right? I know I can hear you SAHMs laughing at me because I know your houses aren't perfect but sheesh you'd scream and run if you saw this place. So I resolve to have this place clean, I will post pics later if it actually happens because who doesn't want to show off a nice clean house? If it does happen then I will try and put up the christmas tree I'm a slacker there too, the key word is TRY. Ok off we go!

Welcome Rowan! (Labor story and pics)

2008-12-11T22:12:00.000-08:00

I am sorry I haven't updated my blog in a while. Things have been busy since last December 4th when we finally welcomed Rowan Spencer Beard to our family. I have been busy trying to breastfeed and get used to having two boys instead of one, its been fairly busy and new but enjoyable so far. Rowan is very mild mannered and so far a happy and healthy boy. Gavin is adjusting to having his little brother here, he is as in love with him as Spencer and I which makes me happy. So about 4 days before the event happened my older sister who is a professional photographer was in town and snuck in some beautiful maternity shots of my max size before he was born that I would share a few of. She already posted a few on her blog but I am so happy with them and figured I'd show how big I got before I shared my labor story. These were taken on November 29th.

So that was my max size, I felt huge but I'm so glad that I took these because pregnancy is so beautiful and I can show him later how I looked when I was pregnant with him. I wish now that I had some done with Gavin but I have some regular belly pics with him. Now on to my labor story. I woke up at 3:45am on Thursday December 4th and needed to go to the bathroom. I made it to the bathroom and almost to the toilet when SPLOOSH my water broke on the floor! I have been told and read that this only happens to about 15% of women so I couldn't believe it had happened! I called to Spencer that my water had broken and it was time. He woke out of a stupor and was all groggy and didn't believe me at first. We packed up what we needed of toiletries and the bag for Gavin and took him to my parent's house and headed to the hospital. All the while my contractions started to get worse and worse. When we arrived at the hospital I was checked and I was at 3 cms. They got me all set up in a room and I walked for about an hour in the halls. We came back to the room and I listened to music and danced some. I decided they were getting pretty painful so I wanted to get into the tub and see if it helped. It was lovely! Finally probably 3 or 4 hours later at about 9:00am the nurse came and checked me and I was at a 5 1/2 cm and decided I wanted to stay in bed and rest and watch tv. As the hours passed I asked Spencer when he thought the baby would be born and he predicted noonish. I progressed really fast, about a cm an hour and was in a good about of pain by 11:15am when the doctor arrived with his resident Dr. Nauft. Now I forgot to mention I had the best Nurse EVER! She told me when she first arrived that she would only listen to what I wanted and no matter what she would do what I wanted. At this point I was about 9 cms and almost dilated and in a lot of pain, the doctors wanted to check me with the next contraction and Tyrra my nurse said I wasn't ready and she'd let them know when I was ready to be checked. A couple more contractions and I guess my voice changed and she said I was ready. It hurt so much but luckily for me I had 5 minute breaks til the very end of everything so it was bareable. I can't say I didn't ask for the drugs in my IV but it was too late and they couldn't give me any. At that point I was ready to push and it didn't take long to get him out. 4 pushes and my beautiful boy was here! 7 lbs 12 ozs at 11:58am so Spencer was almost dead on for time. He is quite fair, blonde hair and we're unsure of his eye color but they are lighter then Gavin's ever were. Here's some pics from the hospital and since he was born. Welcome Baby Rowan!

Mild Contractions and Talking progress

2008-11-21T11:23:00.000-08:00

So since like 2 days ago I've been having mild contractions. Enough to take my breath away but nothing big and close enough together to make me think he's coming soon. That may change here soon but we'll see. I lost my mucus plug I think (I know gross) and that's what started it all. I hope it picks up and we can have him before Thanksgiving. I may even go for a walk here in a bit to see if it changes anything.

Gavin is making some good progress with his talking, thanks to a lot in part because of Austen and Tanner, his older cousins and Thomas the Tank Engine. He copies the boys all the time and is picking up lots of words and sentences and then he watches Thomas once a day and memorizes a lot of what they say, it makes me laugh because when he's playing with his trains he narrates his own stories and its fun to listen to. I took a video of him singing along to his favorite song in the video "The Great Discovery." I get these songs in my head and it just about drives me nuts but he's happy so I am too. I was sitting here checking my e'mail and Gavin was over by the tv wanting something, I asked him what he needed and he said "Mommy, watch Thomas Please" which shocked me and my mom has talked to a speech therapist at the school she works at and they said 3 word sentences at 3 is good so it encourages me a lot. Here's the video, he doesn't quite know all the words but sings along anyway lol. Enjoy.

Am I next yet?

2008-11-15T11:51:00.000-08:00

Ok I know you all are sick of hearing about my pregnancy ups and downs but seriously. Only 29 days to go and I'm feeling it big time. I am 36 weeks pregnant and now that countdown is on I swear it has gotten harder. I go on a website daily for pregnant women or women with children and I share my woes with them ( I think its the main people that can understand because they are all due in December) hence why I haven't updated every day because if I did, it would go a little something like this . . . . "Today the hiccups were horrible" "Pregnancy is killing me" and so on until you probably would be like ok we get it, you're tired of being pregnant, talk about something else lol. Phew speaking of hiccups they finally stopped just a second ago. Thank you Rowan for testing your diaphram out yet AGAIN today.

We are feeling the crunch though, I am starting to get my hospital bag ready. The last person due before me (of my personal friends) just had her baby boy last night. She was 10 days overdue, oh heavens I hope I don't do that and he was 8 lbs 14 oz and all is well with mom and baby. So now I figure, its a countdown to my baby shower (November 22nd) and then its time to evict or at least try to he may have different plans. I think it would be really cool if I could have him right before Thanksgiving so that my sister Erin and my Brother in law Jason and his wife Stephanie and there kids could see him before they go back to Montana. That would be cool and I've tried to reason with Rowan that this would be great but somehow I don't think he's going to cooperate but you never know.

There's so much to do and I know I'm going to forget something, I wrote out what we still really NEED to have before he's born and am crossing off the few things (ie. breast pump, bottles, liners, breast pads, milk freezer bag storage, games to play while in labor etc.) all this stuff hasn't been purchased yet so once the baby shower is done we're going shopping! Everyone I talk to says I'm not going to make it to my due date but we'll see, I am still of the mind set that I don't want to get my hopes up because knowing me I'll go overdue lol. I did that with Gavin and he didn't want to come out. I thought to myself at the time, oh maybe I'll get the tax break for 2005 and sure enough he waited til January 5th 2006 to make his appearance. Oh well, I can dream but not hold my breath on it right? Here's my latest belly pic for you guys. I am feeling large and in charge and like I ran out of room 2 weeks ago lol.

5 weeks and counting!

2008-11-01T10:18:00.000-07:00

I made it to Halloween! Next holiday is Thanksgiving and once that comes and goes Rowan is free to make his appearance.

So tomorrow is technically 6 weeks but I go by this ticker that shows 5 weeks 6 days. I plan to go natural and into labor on my own this time so I am probably going to go overdue but I am counting down just the same in hopes that shortly after Thanksgiving the Turkey and Pumpkin Pie will fatten him up enough to make him want to come out (perfect bribery in my opinion). That's the lovely unpredictability of having a child. When I told my friend about bribing him with Turkey she said "Wow the mental image for that is astounding . . . . You holding a turkey leg ummm . . . . well . . . .down there and calling for Rowan to come get the Turkey leg" The places people's minds go lol.

Halloween was pretty fun, Gavin is starting to get the hang of the trick or treating thing with help from his older cousins who are his greatest example of how to do things. He dressed as a plump spider and had his spider bucket in tow. We headed out at 6:00ish and walked around the block and around the neighborhood. I dunno if its just because I'm pregnant and my two year old already has a hard enough time with getting scared of clowns let alone anything else but I couldn't believe the stupidity of grown ADULTS! There was a man handing out candy at his house and thought it funny to wear this gruesome "phantom of the opera" type mask with blood. Of course Gavin turns tail and doesn't want to go near him, I said to him could you take your mask off so he can see you're not scary and he wouldn't do it! So I grabbed the candy from him, gave him a dirty look and left. The worst offender though was this house where a woman answered the door with two dogs so we were all distracted by the smallest (about the size of a rat) I accidentally stepped on it at one point. Well I was so distracted that I didn't see her son stick his head out the door with a horrible skeleton mask with big fangs until Gavin screamed bloody murder and clung to my legs. I was about ready to sock this kid until his mom did it for me and told him there is a little guy out here don't be dumb. Halloween and being scared when you know its fake is all good and dandy but when there is little kids that think its real, I think its terribly inapropriate and wish people would tone it down for the little ones. Luckily for us Gavin is resilient and didn't have nightmares. Sadly I didn't realize my camera's battery was dieing when we got to my parent's house so pictures will have to be sent to me and posted at a later time. Watch for updates. Hope you all had a wonderful Halloween!

Tag I guess I'm it?!

2008-10-29T20:55:00.000-07:00

Ok I am supposed to write 7 things you may not know about me....oooh tough one seeing as most of the people who read my blog (that I'm aware of) know a lot about me, heck I grew up and was birthed by most of them lol, well only one birthed me but yeah . . . . Anywho . . . .

1. Growing up I was really Shy . . . I know hard to believe but apparently according to my mom it bordered on being rude because I wouldn't talk to anyone. I would hide behind my parents and not talk. It wasn't until High School that I kind of came out of my proverbial "shell."

2. I love to draw, in fact I drew a mural on my bedroom wall in the last house we lived in, in Canada. It was one of the selling points of our house at the time, there was a little girl who loved it and wanted it for her room. It was disney characters and my dad allowed me to paint it when he discovered I had drawn on the wall and was actually quite good.

3. I was Frenchy in my High School Musical's version of Grease. I switched off nights with another girl and my mom was the hairdresser for our production and she made a pink wig for me. I had teased hair and actually smoked herbal cigarettes for acting purposes of course.

4. I took 3 years of Japanese in high school. Now don't get me wrong I am far from fluent, I actually understand more then I speak. Its fun to understand some when people are talking in front of me too. I remember at one point, my cousin Jeremy married a Japanese woman and forgot I wasn't Japanese and asked me what time it was in Japanese and I answered her in English. The reaction was quite funny "Hey Shoko you know you just asked me what the time was in Japanese right?" "oh I did?! woops, and you understood me?" "yep I am learning it in school".

5. I love to Jive! I know #3 made it a lot easier to learn how to Jive Dance but I am afraid I'm not as light on my feet as I used to be. I went on a couple dates with a guy named Ben who took me to a little club downtown in Olympia that had Jive Dancing and it was for all ages no drinking once a week. I went on a date with him one night and by the end he thought I was going to die because I get overheated really easily, my face gets red but it was a blast! Unfortunately my husband is a good dancer but not as coordinated enough to learn to Jive. We'll stick to techno music and rave dancing lol.

6. My mom pretty much picked out my husband. Now I know what you're thinking, how is this possible? Yes its true AND he served his mission in Canada but not where I am from so we met here in Olympia. My mom will deny this up and down and claims she doesn't remember this but I swear to you every time she'd come home she would tell me she saw him at an activity and that I would really like him, he's totally my type yada yada. He had just gotten off his mission and was 4 1/2 years older then me, I was 18, and anyone my mom picked out of course was not my type. I saw him at church while sitting next to my mom on the couch and told her I thought that guy was cute and her reaction was "THATS Spencer Beard!" we met and the rest is history.

7. I have a birth mark on my shoulder that is in the shape of an "S." My older sister noticed it and pointed it out to me. I joke that my freckles are trying to spell out my name and just haven't finished yet. Spencer says I was branded for him apparently. Either way its a weird coincidence/ oddity.

An actual picture of my birthmark weird no?

Ok TAG, Mom, Chelsea M, and Jenny B you're it!

Ahhh the joys of hormones . . .

2008-10-24T15:36:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here by myself and Gavin is napping. Spencer has the day off and went over to a buddy's house to hang out for a bit and I'm so fricken tired! You know how when you're tired you get that either really giddy past tired laugh or even the everything makes you cry thing? I think I'm there. It may help that I'm 8 months pregnant and the combination is lethal when it comes to emotionally holding it together.

So I decided to read my mom's blog (warning incoming tear fest from me). It doesn't take much on my mom's blog to get me crying, same with my sister in law Shelley's bless their hearts. But get this, my mom's latest blog isn't even cry worthy, in fact its quite cute and funny, and what am I doing? Blubbering like my closest friend has died or something. What the hey? I would say I'm past tired and so ready to be done with crazy hormones. I think that's why Spencer ran away to his friend's house because he needed a break from the overflowing emotions I am dealing with lol. I find myself wining so much lately about every ache and pain and I started crying earlier and apologizing to Spencer for my wining because nobody should have to listen to me 24/7 and he does without complaint, what a good man I've got.

Its amazing to me what us women have to go through to have a baby, not to single myself out but my situation especially just makes me apreciate my babies so much more I think. I usually tell people that "my children are pains in my butt, literally" because of the shots I have to have in my butt until I'm out of the first trimester. I'm sure others have it a whole lot worse but it kind of sucks. My mom said this baby boy is going to be bigger I think, which I think is the truth, I don't really remember Gavin taking up every inch of my stomach like Rowan has, in that case maybe the natural aproach just won't be happening, we'll see how I feel when it comes to being in labor. I am the QUEEN of hormones though, just ask my sisters. You know when you grow up with 3 sisters and when asked who's the worst PMSer they all point a finger at me that its pretty bad, I even say I am too, which is funny because personally I think I am the most mellow when I'm pregnant, my hormones seem to be fully balanced and mood swings are less then when I'm not pregnant . . . . so so sad. My sister's favorite example of this is when I was a teenager and was having a particularly hormonal day, I think Erin or Shannon told a blonde joke and I exploded at them, it wasn't meant to be pointed at me but I took total offense and started crying. I blubbered "nobody ever tells a brunette joke about you, why do they always tell blonde jokes about me?" They stopped me and said look at what you're doing Stephanie, and I started laughing and then I got mad and then back to crying. It was your classic crazy multiple personality mood swings. To this day I can never live that down. But I am tired, like a lot of moms out there that are either about to have a new baby or have a new one it makes it very hard to sleep. Once he is out I am sure I will sleep a little bit more comfortably but not really much more then I am at the moment. I guess I need to start getting used to it.

Pumpkin patch . . . Apple cider = Bees!

2008-10-23T09:42:00.000-07:00

We decided a week or so ago to go to the pumpkin patch at Lattin's Cider Mill. This is my favorite place to go when fall hits and they have the most amazing Hot Apple Cider and Apple Fritters ever! They make both fresh and I had to have some before we headed out to pick our pumpkin from the patch. Little did I know . . . Bees like cider?! We walked down to the goats and other animals first and I seriously got dive bombed and attacked left and right by stinkin bees! They weren't just being pesky they were seriously attacking my cider like it was their treasure and I had stolen it. I finally got to the point where I was clear of bees or wasps and we went down to the pumpkin patch and picked out a pumpkin to bring home. We headed back to pay for it and I got attacked again! They buzzed next to my ears and attempted to assault my cider again. It just about drove me nuts! Despite the bees though we had a great time at the mill. Gavin was super tired because we decided to go right around nap time and crabbiness insued as you can see from the pics. I am sure we'll make a few more trips up there before halloween to get more fritters and apple cider, I wonder if they have a bee repellant though? I'll have to look into that. Who knew? Here's a few pics.

Spencer felt the need to compare the size of my belly to a pumpkin lol, I'm not that big!

Gavin Falling Asleep

8 Month Pregnant and feeling huge!

Trying to convince Gavin the little pumpkin is cool and he should take his picture with it

Spencer makes a final attempt but Gavin is fed up and ready for his nap. Poor guy!

First thing out of his mouth . . . .

2008-10-23T09:17:00.000-07:00

For those of you who intimately know my son, he speaks his own language. I don't know where it came from or how but he has invented his own language and jabbers away like we know what he is saying, I say he's evolved past English and feels his language is better. Most recently I have noticed more and more words and little sentences in English getting added to his vocabulary. My favorite is when the phone rings and he shouts "Chesh, PHONE!" or "Shan! Phone" (my parents version of an intercom when the phone is for someone is to shout across the house). Feel pleased Auntie Chelsea that he does know your name in your absence and thinks the phone is for you. A few new additions though are Thomas related and quite funny, last night he started saying Duncan but he thinks Toby is Duncan and there's no convincing him otherwise (I made the mistake of calling it that by mistake). He also every once in a while mixes my nephews Austen and Tanner's names up, in fact he used to call both of them Austen until I insisted that that's Tanner not Austen and finally convinced him. I know these are small but to me when new english comes out its a victory seeing as for a long time he would solely speak in "Gavinese." Now to the title of this blog. I kid you not, this Thomas thing is becoming quite the obsession, last night we were at Grandma Murley's and she has the priviledge of having Auntie Shannon live with her and she has quite the collection of Thomas'. It always pleases me when Gavin doesn't want to leave somewhere because it means he loves being with someone either then me or Spencer. Last night we stayed up late for him, he's a bit of a night owl like us, he was playing away with Thomas and when we said it was time to go he yelled NO! and ran to hide by Granddad like "Granddad save me!" We finally wrestled the trains from his hands and got his jacket on and as we were headed out the door he was crying because he didn't want to leave. Every morning the first thing out of his mouth before anything is Thomas? and he gets to watch a video or two while eating breakfast. After that though I have to limit it because I will go crazy from hearing that theme song over and over and it'll get stuck in my head. What can I say there's worse things he could be obsessed with right?

Newest phrases learned from Thomas the Tank Engine:

*Ready? Set! Go!
*Toot Toot (many variations)
*Duncan
*What are you doing Thomas? Followed by OH NO!
*Re-enacting Thomas getting stuck in the snow and Terrence the tractor engine coming to save him. Very comical and accurate.
*Its a Thomas
*Look out Percy!
*Oh Sorry
*Thomas you alright?
*Duncan please help Thomas (newly heard this morning from the kitchen)
I'm sure there are more but they are mixed with Gavinese and sometimes I have to listen really hard to hear these, he's coming along though and we hope he catches up talking.

New Obsession Yay!

2008-10-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

This past week we discovered our son Gavin has a new love when we were at my mom's house. If you've read my sister Erin's blog, you'll see Evan my nephew who is 4 months older then Gavin is obsessed with the same thing, what can I say? They are definately similar and all boy! My older sister Shannon has two boys who at one point were in love with Thomas the Tank Engine and anything having to do with trains so their house is absolutely full of trains everywhere. Up until recently we had Erin's train table that she was so lucky to get when working at an educational toy store but its gone back to Canada with her because Evan is so in love. Shannon replaced it with her own that she purchased and has been lieing in wait under her bed, its not as cool but it is a close second to Erin's.

How the discovery of trains started:

We decided to go on a date night to the movies and my parents watched Gavin for the evening. When we came to pick him up he was sitting with Auntie Shannon watching Thomas and was so enthralled. Every day since then, when we went to their house he'd find a Thomas and make train whistle noises and sit for a long time playing with just trains. My sister said "you need to get that kid some trains, look at him!" My mom being the awesome Grandma that she is has a "Grandma Closet" and went searching to see what she could find and found a brand new train named Murdoch that he has preceded to take everywhere with him since he got it. We went to Costco the same day and I searched for anything Thomas and lo and behold! They just came out with a new 60 min video "Thomas and the Great Discovery" can you guess how many times we've watched this movie so far? I stopped counting. So we are starting to slowly feed his love for Thomas and trains because hey, there could be worse things to get obsessed with, at least this is educational.

Interesting facts about Thomas:

I used to watch Thomas when I was younger, that's how long its been on and it was called Shining Time Station for the purposes of the American version when I watched it. There was usually in the beginning a scene with real people in it and eventually some kids would call upon "Mister Conductor" which was a tiny little conductor from the island of Sodor who would precede to tell a story about Thomas and his friends. The list of men who have played "Mister Conductor" include the original which was Ringo Starr and George Carlin, after the station part of the show went away the Narrator of the stories has also included Alec Baldwin and now in the new movie is Pierce Brosnan. Included in the original cast and regulars of Shining Time Station were Didi Conn (also known as the original Frenchie from the Grease Movie), Lloyd Bridges (actor and father to Jeff and Beau Bridges), Rachel Miner (ex wife of actor McCauley Calkin) and the list goes on. Its interesting the small roles that actors take before they are super famous or are already famous and just want to take the role.

Thank you Auntie Shannon for your use of trains and everything to go with them, I am sure we will have a lot of train talk in this house for a while and I'm having another boy so I'm also pretty sure at one point he'll be in love with it too.

Ouch my ribs!

2008-10-03T22:19:00.000-07:00

I will be 30 weeks on Sunday, and am finding it hard to breath from our unborn child sticking his feet up in my ribs and causing me to have a hard time breathing. I figure for the past week or so he's been stuck upside down (or at least I think he is) its hard to tell but I certainly get kicks and movements a lot up top of my belly. I can't cross my arms across my belly without getting a huge kick like "Mom stop squishing me!" It shocks me sometimes how hard he kicks. I didn't ever remember being this tired but its amazing how you forget. I think Heavenly Father does this so we will have more then one child. As much as I complain I think of those who haven't been able to experience and take in every kick with a smile and a reminder that yes mom I'm still here, alive and kickin (literally).

This pregnancy in comparison to Gavin's has gone super fast, in fact I can't believe I will only have 70 days on Sunday. With Gavin I was pregnant for like 2 years after the 3 miscarriages and his pregnancy added together so I was SO ready for him to come, I needed the end result after all that pain. This baby I don't feel as rushed and its going so fast. My cousin just had her baby a month early and I got a bit jealous but at the same time I think I can wait (I say this now but take my word for it toward the end I will be singing another tune) I want to go into labor on my own so I have a feeling I will be waiting a while. I was induced with Gavin and didn't like the experience of it and he probably couldn't "cooked" for longer after I saw he was only 7 lbs 3 ozs. I feel really reflective tonight probably because things have changed in the past few weeks drastically and it won't be long til I have two boys to take care of. My boys.

New Job

2008-10-01T11:00:00.000-07:00

Spencer started his orientation at his new job today. He has been out of work since the 12th of September and a good friend of ours found him a job working with developmentally disabled adults as their aid. Its interesting, the first few days he was home he just about drove me nuts and now that he's back at work all day I am kind of lost with nothing to do. Makes me realize how much he does for me and how much I enjoy his company.

Ok so I'm going to put this in writing and whoever reads this (if anyone does) needs to hold me to it because I have had the worst attitude in the past about it. I am going to get my license before this baby comes. I know I've said it for the past what? 5 or 6 years but I need to. Spencer is going to be working 12 hour days at this new job and I don't think I could stand staying at home that long by myself without being able to go somewhere. I have less than 11 weeks to do this so I'm on a time crunch before this baby gets here so bug me about it til I do it please!!!!

Ok with that said, I hope this goal actually happens. Deiter F. Uchtdorf in his talk at the Relief Society Broadcast said that some people's struggles are the fear of failure . . . . that's pretty much me every time I think about taking the driving test but I know I have to get over it and do it and will be so much happier when I do. Wish me luck in this goal.

Fireproof "that one little part"

2008-09-29T11:06:00.001-07:00

We have been waiting to hear about a job for Spencer. He is even out right now pounding the pavement and we have been praying and I get the comfort I need when I feel so tired and alone in this. Heavenly Father puts people in our lives for a reason I know this. We have a couple that lives two doors down from us that are not of our faith but have similar beliefs and they are dear friends to us and have made us dinner on many occasions even though they are not well off themselves but they have food and share of their abundance to add our company to those in their house.

The other night they wanted to see this new movie that came out called Fireproof. Lets just say the title is very apropriate for a lot of things right now for me. We didn't have the money to pay for the movie and didn't have childcare for our son while we went to the movie if we did have the money. They offered to pay for our admission and we asked my mom and dad to watch Gavin while we went and I am so glad we did. I didn't realize when we went to it that it was a christian movie that they were showing in a regular theater and both showings at our time slot were full to the brim. Now how's that for showing the christian support? My thought on that is wow how amazing that a movie with a good message and no swearing, crude humor, fornication, sex, drugs, violence would sell out on the first night it was showing.

In these the last days that's all there is. Its a reminder to me of a talk someone gave when I was back in young women's and I was at Youth Conference. I believe it was titled "That one little part" I can't remember who spoke but they talked about how movies nowadays are good except for that one little part that is slipped in and how it was equated to Satan, he doesn't come out and blatantly say do this horrible bad thing all at once, he slips it into our every day things until we justify "Oh its just that one little part the rest was good" when in reality its like taking salt and pepper and dumping salt into a bowl and then mixing the tiniest bit of pepper in, how many of us can get the pepper totally out of the salt? Without great processing and long hours of sitting picking every bit out its nearly impossible! Its the same way with that "one little part" it enters our thoughts and can not be taken out until we work so hard and repent and try to replace it with something else until finally we are clean again. I know with me I've even had this thought and told people "wow that was a great movie but they could've left out that one little part" I think I even said it the other day when I was watching the movie Speed Racer when we rented it. It was such a good movie for kids and funny and amazing special effects but that one little part they added that could've been left out and it wouldn't have to PG was the language. They added words that could've just been left out and the movie would've been just as good but someone felt the need to make it rated PG and added that in.

Anywho back to the movie, it was a movie about a fire fighter that was so consumed with work and how he got respect from that and not from his wife and it was going to cost him his marriage because he wasn't putting his whole heart into it and caring about what she needed. His dad gives him what he calls the "Love Dare" where he sends him this book that has him do things for his wife and himself for 40 days and take one at a time until hopefully by the end it will help him keep his marriage. Only problem was that the man didn't include the Lord in the process at first and about halfway his wife has asked him for a divorce and he finally realizes that he can't do it alone. He is talking to his dad on one of their many meetings and walks and they come across this cross in the woods that they use for a bible camp. This part of the movie really hit me hard because I had never thought of anything this way til now. He says to his dad, "Dad I've tried all that the book says, I bought her flowers, said kind words or nothing at all, made her dinner, cleaned the house, tried to show her how much I love her and want this to work and she all but spits in my face with her words and her actions how can I love someone who spits in my face? How am I supposed to keep trying and do this when she says she doesn't love me and treats me like this? And the father is standing right next to the cross and says "Well there is someone else that loves us that was willing to be spit on, insulted, tortured and die for our sins and no matter what anyone did to him he continued to love us, you need to follow in his example and ask for forgiveness from the Lord before any of this is going to work. How are you expecting her to forgive you when you haven't asked him to forgive you?" It was such a strong message to me. I felt the spirit so strong at that moment and of course the man started to include the Lord in his process, no longer did it matter whether she responded physically but that he felt what he was doing was pleasing to the Lord. He was talking with a friend at one point about religion and how he was this great firefighter and felt fireproof but when it came to this relationship he didn't know how to fix it totally and his friend said "being fireproof doesn't mean that you're immune to fire and don't get burned it just means that when the fire comes you will be strong enough to withstand it." So many good messages in the movie, kind of a chick flick but still good nonetheless. I wish there was more people willing to make a movie with such good messages and no "little part" in it that makes it not worth going to. I enjoyed this so much and the opportunity to spend time with good friends and share in the spirit of the Lord while still being entertained on a Friday night.

We have been so blessed!

2008-09-24T09:55:00.000-07:00

Monday Spencer got the final word that he was fired from his job at Safeway and he already has an interview and most likely the job working for a company called Life Force which helps care for Developmentally Disabled Adults in their homes. This wouldn't have been possible without the help of so many friends of ours and prayers of family. Our dear friends Jon and AC who live two doors down have been so helpful with getting Spencer this job (Jon works for the same company) in the mean time he'll work for them and AC works for the state and is keeping her eye out for jobs for Spencer there. We also have had friends Chris and Stephanie Vella who have been helping us with a job interview at Top Foods and they opened their home to us for dinner a couple nights and keeping us distracted during Spencer's waiting period when he was suspended. Brad and Teona Bates have also opened their home to us for dinner so it has made me feel very happy we have the friends we do. I was so afraid being 7 months pregnant and losing our income. It just reaffirms that when you follow what you are supposed to do and pray and fast for help you will recieve the blessings you need at the time. I felt scared and in turn somewhat angry but my husband reminded me that we have to put our will in line with what the Lord's will for us is and when we both did this, prayed and fasted we recieved these blessings and I am so greatful I know what I do. With all my thanks I need to thank the Lord for helping us through this trying time, without his help none of this would be possible.

Nothing like a sick kid....

2008-09-22T16:02:00.000-07:00

To take your mind off your problems. Yesterday was a hard Sunday but good just the same. It was one of those Sundays where we didn't know what was going to happen with our job situation and I was having a really hard time praying for comfort for the hormones had taken over and I didn't know what to do. We were sitting there in Sacrament and it was like every talk was specifically for me. First talk was about prayer and how we need to put our will in line with the Lord's . . . I've been trying to do this for the past 10 days Spencer was suspended but then Saturday for some reason I couldn't hold it together anymore. Staying distracted in these situations helps a lot and we've had a lot of friends to help us (thanks guys we love you for this). I sat and cried a lot while the talk went on and Gavin was standing cradling his head in my lap. I just thought he was kind of sleepy and he's snuggly a lot so I didn't think anything of it. After the first talk I needed to go continue to cry and pray so the only place I could think of to go was to the mother's lounge where nobody would see me and I could still listen to the talks. As I left sacrament I passed Gavin along to my husband and I went. I blew my nose and the second talk started, the topic: The straight and narrow path and how our Heavenly Father is there for us to help us stay on it no matter what the situation. It was so hard to keep it together so I sat and cried some more. As I sat there my best friend Leahona who just had a baby 2 1/2 weeks ago came in to feed her daughter and we sat and talked. She mentioned that Gavin had fallen asleep on the bench in church which is really unlike him. I sat while she fed her daughter Iyla and they had the choir sing a song (don't remember what it was) but it was another thing specifically for me. Once sacrament was over I went and taught my class of 11/12 year olds and went to primary with our only 11 year old left. When we went to pick Gavin up he was still lethargic and laying on the nursery leader's shoulder. She said he's been really tired and even when we do singing time which he usually loves and talks all the way through he was quiet and almost falling asleep. I said to her that maybe he's going to grow and was having a sleepy day. When we got home Gavin had fallen asleep again and I checked his temperature and he was burning up. Can't believe I missed it til now! I checked his temp and it was 100.2 F so we gave him some tylenol and put him down for a nap seeing as he wasn't hungry and was already asleep. When he woke up he was all sweaty and Spencer thought maybe he had broken his fever. A couple hours later it was still up and so we kept him comfy and cared for him on the couch. Its really rare for Gavin to get sick so we were kind of stumped. He didn't want to eat anything but bread and water and sleep but only had the symptom of the fever. Before bed I gave him Tylenol and a luke warm bath to cool him and he seemed to be his old self in fact he didn't want to go to bed.

This morning on the flip side I woke up at 7am to go to the bathroom and I could hear him awake and making noises like he was really uncomfortable. I went in and he was up and checked his temp again and he was at 100.9 F. I preceded to take him downstairs and he drank a ton of water and threw a bit of it up. He was so hot! Poor guy. He lay on the couch wining and uncomfortable. He just rested, funny thing about him is his favorite toy is still to this day a spiderman teether stuffy I bought for him before he was born so he was snuggled up with his blanket and Spiderman watching Cars. I gave him another dose of medicine when he started to act really uncomfortable and he was a new man again except for when it wore off the fever was gone. Its a mystery what it was but I am hoping it was a 24 hour bug that he caught and nothing more. It was a good distraction from feeling sorry for myself and our situation just sad that he had to be sick and miserable to smarten me up and go into Mom mode to take care of him. Sometimes I feel like I need these reminders to say "Stephanie stop thinking about how bad your situation is and look for ways to help others." I'm glad you're feeling better buddy!

We Need Some Prayers Please!

2008-09-22T14:51:00.001-07:00

Ok so some of you may know that Spencer has been on suspension from his job for about 10 days for a stupid mistake he made at work pending whether they were going to fire him or not. We hadn't heard anything because of a different more serious incident at work (involving an employee going into his work with a gun and threatening people). Anyway we found out today that he's been terminated for this mistake. He feels relieved to finally know but pretty sad and depressed that it happened because of something he did. We are working with a few different friends and contacts on finding him another job. Luckily it couldn't have come at a better time with the holidays coming up and at least he'll be able to find something with how hard its been over the summer to find anything. He will be receiving 4 to 5 weeks of vacation pay in a lump sum check either this friday or next friday and so we'll be ok for that long until he can find another job and he's filed for unemployment but we were hoping that we could get your guys' help with prayers and fasting when its feasable. He's worked for Safeway for 8 years and its kind of sad that his loyalty didn't matter in this case but at this point we feel like its a new start and he can focus on getting out of his comfort zone and finding a job using his degree hopefully. I made cinnabons because I needed comfort food, I already did my crying and mourning of the loss and now we're looking forward and moving on now that we finally have some news. They were really good! Thanks for all your guys' support and hopefully he'll find a new job soon.

Crazy Animals . . . . .Grrrr.

2008-09-11T11:11:00.001-07:00

We decided to stay at my in laws house while they went to Montana which is all fine and dandy. I love staying at their house to make sure the animals are taken care of, Tres my in laws dog is actually a really good dog and most of the time when I stay here to watch him he's good as gold even though a lot of the time I think its strange that he goes into a depression when my mother in law leaves. The one animal I CANNOT Stand is Homer. Now Homer is a 15 or something year old, old fart of a cat that will just about drive you bonkers as any crotchety senior citizen who thinks he is the king of roost will. He comes and goes as he pleases inside and outside, when he enters the home he meows incessantly until you follow him to what he wants. Most of the time its "feed me" even though there's food in his dish and he KNOWS where it is he insists you follow him or he follows you until you make sure he's got food. If that isn't enough once he's done with eating he won't leave you alone. As a pregnant woman with a two year old I can't stand having to babysit this cat. I am of the mindset that animals should know there place and not rule the roost. Tres knows his place but is quite needy and follows me when Penny isn't here to follow which is fine he's not annoying. I am liking being able to watch tv and have cable while we are here and it hasn't been too bad yet but I need more food then the rice a roni and pasta roni that was left behind by my in laws. Bless their hearts I love my in laws but I can't stand eating that all the time. Oh well I will get over it.

On a lighter note my friend sent me this e'mail and it made me laugh so hard. For those of you who have been pregnant and have kids this will make you chuckle because if you didn't feel this way you are very rare. Check this out:

A letter written by a pregnant woman to all NON pregnant people:

Dear NON pregnant person:

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.

1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is "Congratulations!" with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a big fat jerk!

2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase "my baby".

3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it.

4) The body of a pregnant women should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5) Likewise, no women wants to hear comments on her weight... ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!".

6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.

7) There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, Mother in law or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents.

8 ) Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out". If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

Gift Cards!

2008-09-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

Today Spencer and I decided to go spend my birthday gift cards. I got one from Barnes & Noble for $25 and one from Old Navy for $25 so we went to the book store first. I wandered and decided I wanted a really nice copy of The Chronicles of Narnia because I've been wanting to read it and haven't had the chance to in a while. Plus I figure it'll give me something to read for the next few months til this kid gets here.

Stop #2

Old Navy, now I know it was birthday money and I know I should've bought something for me but I have tons of maternity clothes (like more then one woman should have, I have enough for 3 pregnant women) so I didn't need anymore and I am not sure what size i'll be once I have Rowan so I don't want to buy normal size to have it not fit. AND Old Navy was having a baby sale 40% off all their baby stuff. I couldn't resist, they were calling to me! I got two outfits that I'm going to bring with me to the hospital for taking him home in, whichever fits best. They are so cute! Its making me more and more excited to have him. I am in the double digits for days left til my due date 97 days to be exact. I know I shouldn't be counting down already because it'll make it take forever but I can't help it!

We went to my mom's after shopping and getting a bite to eat and I spent the evening with them while Spencer worked a short shift. Gavin is getting over his awekwardness (sp) with everyone and his being shy and really starting to talk more. I hear him come out with new stuff all the time. The other day it was "here, take this" and he handed me something. He is an independant child and will play by himself. I wish I had my camera but I didn't. My mom and I were sitting at the table in the kitchen and we were watching him outside by himself in my sister Shannon's bounce house doing bum drops and jumping just by himself and having the time of his life. He was out there for an hour or so just playing and the only thing that got him inside was it was dark and the fact that Granddad went out and turned off the bounce house with him inside so he was done and came in. He is such a sweet boy and I call him my love bug because he's always just randomly coming up and hugging or kissing me or snuggling. I hope he stays this way. Well that was my day. Here's a couple pics of the coming home outfits for Rowan.

Outfit #1

Outfit #2

MMmmmmm Butt Bread!

2008-09-07T13:20:00.000-07:00

My birthday was on September 3rd. My mom has had this thing with making bread our entire lives and makes her own bread because store bought bread for some reason doesn't go bad. I have been having the thought lately when I went to make toast and I looked at this partial loaf of bread and thought "hmmm how long have we had this?" I checked the date on it and it was 5 months old and it wasn't moldie or crusty or even bad smelling. What is in this stuff?

I decided enough was enough with crazy preservatives. Plus as a kid I remember coming home to the smell of fresh baked bread and I want that for my kids. I asked my parents for a bread machine for my birthday and they bought me one. It's so purdy! The day after I decided to make a loaf of bread. It turned out great and tastes wonderful, I wanted to post a picture online to show a few friends because of course I was proud, and after the pic was taken I started busting out laughing. "OMG it looks like a butt!" one of my friends messaged me after I sent her the picture. Sure enough it looked like a rear end. I just messaged her back and said "Hmmm no butt bread for you" and I went and cut a slice and ate it. Heres to butt bread, and all the other wonderful loaves careof my parents and the bread machine they bought me. Yay!

The Testosterone Levels Have Reached Max Capacity!

2008-09-07T11:40:00.001-07:00

I am finding more and more that I am loving having little boys so far. Some days though I think the Testosterone levels are reaching their max capacity and I need some girlie time. I mean come on now, I even have testosterone in my womb, gimme a break! Yesterday our friend Jen Jakoubek was visiting from California for her step sister's wedding and she made time to come hang out in the late afternoon and (once the reception was over) late evening to visit with us. We were already having dinner with our neighbor AC and so we invited her to come back to our house and we all just sat and talked for a while comparing "girlie stories" as Spencer called it. At one point it was an all out Estrogen fest which I needed clearly with all the men in my house (our cat is the only other female and she is in love with Spencer and Gavin and could care less about me).

I looked over at Spencer and he was sitting on the couch eating ice cream with this glazed over look in his eyes. I said to him "Hey honey? Are you enjoying listening to our girlie fest?" The reaction had us busting up, the basics of it was "Well, at this point to make this whole thing more girlie we'd have to be watching Steel Magnolias and crying while painting each other's toenails. If there was any more estrogen in my house at the moment I think my "manhood" would shrink up into my body and I'd grow boobs and a vagina" He was wishing he could just be a fly on the wall instead of the only man in the room.

It was a refreshing change to what usually goes on in our house. Most of the time Gavin and Spencer are on the floor wrestling or Spencer and his two buddies are playing shoot em up games with the volume too high and I'm hiding in my bedroom watching chick flicks by myself. Thank you ladies I needed a little bit of estrogen in my house for once.

The Progress of Baby Number 2 so far

2008-09-07T10:05:00.000-07:00

So I've been more vigilant about taking belly pics then I was with Gavin. I think I was more focused on keeping him alive then anything else. Luckily for him because he was the first child he has tons of baby pics so hopefully that'll make up for it. I marvel at how quickly I showed with this one and it drives me nuts when I get comments. For those of you who have had kids, you know what I'm talking about. "How far along are you?" "When are you due?" I tell them and the reaction thus far is enough to make someone feel like the biggest whale in the world. "Oh my goodness, are you sure there isn't two in there?" hmm yeah pretty sure that the doctor hasn't lied to me and I'm pretty sure that they can catch that as early as 8 weeks, come on people! I'm not THAT huge! Another favorite is "oh you've got to be due soon, you look like you're ready to pop." Actually nope I still have 3 1/2 months but thanks for asking you big fat meanies. lol. I know people don't mean to be mean about it but sometimes its like hey wanna watch what you say before you open your mouth? Anywho vent over, here's the pics I've taken so far so you can see my progress.

3 months

Around 3 1/2 months

4 months

5 months (halfway point)

5 1/2 months

6 months

7 months

8 months (well close to it)

9months

The First of Many Blogs

2008-09-06T10:05:00.000-07:00

Ok so I gave in and made a blog. My sisters have been telling me its therapeutic and I could use some therapy with all the organ shoving and the 2 year old musings at the moment. Plus I'm really bad at making a journal and I think I heard something from the prophet that says to do blogging because its a form of journaling, so here goes. This one is going to be a very long post just for catching people up and get it all down so I don't forget anything. Bear with me.

Ok Quick Background

With Gavin my beautiful 2 1/2 year old son, we had troubles, BIG troubles getting pregnant and I ended up losing 3 pregnancies to miscarriage early on before finally getting a doctor who knew what was wrong with me. Dr. Moruzzi, an amazing fertility specialist as soon as he saw me knew I had a condition called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome which in a nutshell makes it absolutely impossible to get pregnant without medication and a lot of intervention from a doctor (I know what you're thinking, makes trying so much more fun right?). I don't ovulate or get a cycle on my own so yeah how to get pregnant otherwise? Medication! What I affectionately call the "Multiple Personality" Pills lets just call them. With Gavin and subsequent pregnancies they worked great. When it came time to start trying again we went back on the clomid and for some reason it didn't work. I seemed to be ovulating but it just didn't take. 4 months of clomid and I was just about ready to lose it! My doctor said the next step was doing artificial insemination in combination with the clomid, not an appealing alternative for me and especially for my husband Spencer but we were willing to try it if it meant I could get pregnant again. On Spencer 30th birthday (January 11th) well we did it (he says he made it with a cup but we won't go into that lol) Happy Birthday to you honey! Not very pleasant and I hope I never have to do that again, everything looked great and it didn't work....*sad face.* At this point I was so depressed and sick of all the intervention that we gave up on it. I stopped going to the doctor and stopped all the medication which was a good thing cuz I was really depressed and kind of lost myself. I started to feel better even though we weren't able to get pregnant but my sanity was slowly making its way back. A couple months later toward the end of March my grandmother had made a trip down to Abbotsford to visit family and I decided that Gavin and I should go up and see her because it had been a while and I missed her, so we went up with my parents because Spencer was working.

Ok so the next part deserves its own paragraph because I tend to make run on sentences and forget puncuation so I should probably not make it all one great big paragraph.
On one of the days we were up in Abbotsford everyone had decided to congregate at my Uncle Bob and Aunt Shan's house to visit with them and Grandma was there. We were eating lunch of pizza and enjoying each other's company. For those of you who know my son, he's totally a 2 year old and anything with buttons he can't leave alone. My aunt Shan has a fandangly fridge with buttons galore and unbeknownst to me he had discovered it and it was not childproof. My mom kept trying to get my attention but of course I was trying to socialize and didn't hear her the first couple times (or tuned her out sorry mom) finally she got my attention and told me that Gavin was pressing the buttons and I needed to get him away but because I had heard her the first few times and was for some reason getting mad about being bothered I for some reason just blew up. I yelled "Mom I heard you, leave it alone" at the top of my lungs and everyone went silent. My grandmother preceded to yell at me to not talk to my mother that way and that hers was dead and that she wishes she had her mother etc. etc. while the rest of the family was still in shock like "what's her problem?" I at the same time didn't realize why I had done it and just thought it was weird that I flew off like that. We enjoyed our stay in Abbotsford and a few days later went home.

Like usual every month (I should have stock in pregnancy tests, I'd be rich) my cycle came late. Every month I take a test, every month its negative . . . I wait and "Aunt Flow" usually appears a couple days later and I move on like every month. I went to the bathroom, did the test and didn't even want to look at it because I knew it was going to be negative so I walked away. I set the timer and then when I came back it had already turned positive and I let out a loud scream. Spencer came running like I had seen a spider and was ready to squish it. He sat in the doorway puzzled while I held up the triumphant stick and yelled "We're Pregnant!" and immediately I started crying. Understand, this has never happened where I get pregnant on my own. It just doesn't, I've come to deal with the fact that to have babies I have to take medication and go through rigorous tests to get my little ones. I couldn't believe it I was in shock and then immediately I was like "Spencer where's the phone? I need to call my mom!" I called her and could barely get the news out to my mom. All I heard on the other end was "NO WAY!" or at least that's all I remember. I called my best friend and we both cried. The rest is history, we found out that Gavin will have a little brother in December and we've decided to call him Rowan Spencer Beard, Spencer wants a Junior but I said no so this is as close as he gets. I am in my 6th month and enjoying every kick and organ shove even though everyone around me hears me complain about how uncomfortable or tired I am I really am enjoying it, REALLY! This pregnancy has been a lot harder then Gavin's because his was a breeze but that's alright. My sister Erin said "I think with each baby heavenly father changes the difficulty, if they were all easy we'd have 20 children and so making them different difficulties helps us decide how many are up there waiting for us." Onward and upward as they say, enjoy.